


Journey

by Okadiah



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Fun, Have I manipulated time through the use of the Force?, Otherworldly, influenced by the game Journey, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:53:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23085073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okadiah/pseuds/Okadiah
Summary: Jacen Syndulla, bothered by his lack of connection to the Force and his father, is eager to prove himself as his mother’s son. But on a training mission one day he is knocked unconscious and awakens in a world unlike any he’s ever experienced before.Rendered silent save for a recording device and given little more than a direction to follow, Jacen begins a journey to make his way back home. But the place is different from anything he’s ever experienced before because he can feel something. An energy he’s never felt before in his life, one that grows stronger when he finds another traveler bound on the same journey he is. It’s an energy that draws him toward a mountain, and a figure on the horizon.A man he never thought he’d meet.
Relationships: Jacen Syndulla & Caleb Dume
Comments: 142
Kudos: 102





	1. The Waking

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, friends! I'm back again with this very special piece I hope you'll like and enjoy. I wrote this story thanks to/for my lovely tumblr friend redlipstickandhairbows, and we're both so excited for everyone to read it!
> 
> This story is largely inspired/draws A LOT from the game Journey (which is a beautiful, wonderful game, I highly recommend). That being said, YOU DO NOT NEED TO PLAY JOURNEY TO ENJOY THE STORY. If everything seems a little strange and otherworldly, that's because it's absolutely supposed to be but I promise it's still all Star Wars.
> 
> One final note before we begin, this entire story is already completely finished and will be updated every Monday until it concludes. Everything should be smooth sailing.
> 
> Now, on with the show! I hope you enjoy :]
> 
> UPDATE 10/21/2020: Edited for improvements and typos. No major changes. Most up-to-date version.

**Jacen**

Jacen struggled to consciousness, running a hand over his face as he pressed himself upright and urged his sluggish mind to remember what happened, because _clearly_ something had happened. His head ached bitterly and the muscles of his body weren't much better. The last thing he remembered was the training exercise with his mother, a complicated flight pattern she used to test her most skilled pilots. He remembered she’d been a little nervous, even if he hadn’t been.

Instead … instead, he’d been angry. Determined to prove himself as an ace pilot. His mother’s son.

The entire time he’d focused on that fact, and not the persistent whispers he heard every time they visited Master Skywalker’s Jedi Temple for any news on the missing members of their family. It would’ve been better if the whispers were about him being a hybrid like they were everywhere else, but no. At the temple, everyone knew who he was. Who his father had been.

And there, amidst the new generation of Jedi, Jacen had stood alone because he didn’t have that special sense they did. The same one his father and lost brother Ezra had had.

It had never bothered him before, at least, not to this degree, and he knew the new Jedi hadn’t meant to be unkind. But this time when the whispers started, wondering how the child of a Jedi didn’t have a connection to the Force when Ben Solo did, well, it got to him.

So yeah. He didn’t have the Force. But he _was_ a brilliant pilot, and he’d had two famous parents. He may not have taken after his father, but he’d taken after his mother since the day she’d let him sit on her lap and hold the _Ghost’s_ controls. And with this exercise, he’d been determined to prove it. He didn’t need the Force to define himself.

Even if a deeper part of him wished he had it too, if only to feel closer to a man he’d never know.

The exercise had gone brilliantly, every action perfect and intuitive. At the age of fourteen, he was already outstanding in the pilot’s seat. His mother thought he might be the best one day, maybe better than her, though he didn’t think there was anyone who could ever be better than his mom. There had only been a little more of the exercise left. He’d have had a flawless demonstration.

But then that ion storm. It had come out of nowhere and despite his seamless performance, he’d had to veer off course to avoid the lightning as best he could, but predicting the lightning had been near impossible. He’d lost contact with his mother. The ion storm had blinded him. His navigation went haywire and he’d been lost. He’d been afraid. He’d been desperate, trying every trick he knew, grasping at any solution, and when none of it had worked, he’d turned toward the impossible. Jacen had thought of his father and prayed to the Force, reaching for that thing he didn’t understand and wasn’t even sure was really there, and—

A breeze, dry and arid, caressed his chin and ran invisible lines through his undercut, and for the first time he realized he was not on a ship. Wherever he was, it wasn’t the _Ghost_ , safe and home. It was too warm here, and there was natural ambient noise, not the familiar hum of the ship, any ship.

Slowly Jacen opened his eyes and found himself in an unfamiliar hut, the light of a morning sun leaking in through slats in the walls, striping the shadows of the area with warm orange light. The air was cool and possessed a weightlessness which reminded him of sand and desert planets. It was a calm place, soothing, even if he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten here. He glanced around for a hint.

There was someone sitting in the corner.

Alarmed, Jacen bolted upright, hand dropping to the space at his side where the blaster his mother had given him two years ago should have been but wasn't. As a matter of fact, the flight suit he'd been wearing was replaced with a strange new outfit, a close-fitting base-layer and an equally rich red poncho-cloak thing over the top. Black embroidery layered the bottom edge of the cloak in ancient symbols a less bothered him would've adored studying, but the simple fact of the matter was that his things were gone. He was somewhere unfamiliar and unarmed, and someone dressed in a black mask and white cloak with more intricate embroidery than his own was staring at him with an unnerving stillness.

Jacen’s brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but when he tried to speak, nothing came out. Silence met him, highlighted by the sound of the wind outside. Confused, he tried again. Nothing. Jacen put his fingers to his throat and felt it vibrate with sound but couldn’t hear his words. Disturbed, he lifted his hand to his ear and snapped. The click was beautiful, clean, pure, and Jacen jolted.

The snap surprised him maybe more than anything else that was happening.

He was beyond confused and remembering his mom’s training, he forced the fear growing in his chest down. Fear wouldn't help him figure out where he was or what was going on. But whoever the person in the corner was, they might.

Properly awake now, he shifted so his red-booted feet were on the ground and waited to see if the figure was going to do anything, like attack. Even with the war and the Empire over and the New Republic growing stronger every day, the Galaxy still wasn't the safest place it could be yet. With a Rebellion General for a mother, he'd grown up to always be aware. Just in case.

But the figure didn't attack. For a moment they didn't even move, and feeling bolder, Jacen rose to his feet. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, starting with where he was and how he’d gotten here, but with his voice gone he struggled to figure out how to communicate. The person continued to watch him, the black mask over their face giving nothing away, and slowly he explored. None of his things were visible — there was precious little here to begin with. A bed and small wooden table. A chair the other was using. Some small, unfamiliar items.

Nothing else.

Waiting to see if the one in white would stop him, Jacen moved toward the door and — when the other did nothing — stepped out into the dawn. It was cold and his exposed skin burned with chill while the red clothing he wore did a surprisingly impressive job of keeping him warm. The hut was built upon a stone platform, old and weathered by the wind and sand, the only thing he could see with sand dunes rising around them like mountains.

Unable to stop himself, he circled the hut, searching for his crash-site, anything at all, but there was nothing except the sun slowly cresting the horizon.

The wind curled around his neck, making his skin prickle with the chill, and it was all he could do not to lose his calm because where _was_ he? And what was going on?

With little else to do and a great need to have his questions answered, he entered the hut again and found the white-cloaked figure had risen. Jacen opened his mouth to ask a question, demand an answer, but there were still no words and the other behaved as if Jacen had said nothing at all. Irritation nagged at him, and irrationally he wanted to stomp his foot on the ground, snap endlessly to get their attention like a youngling, but what would that do? How could he possibly get them to understand what he needed when he didn't even know if they could lip-read Basic. _He_ couldn't even do that.

They turned away, and Jacen stared impotently at their back. What would his mother do in a situation like this? Or Uncles Zeb and Kallus? His mother had brought him up to be capable and independent, but right now it was hard to feel that way when he felt young, unsupported, and alone. What was he supposed to do?

The figure in white faced him, their black-masked face impossible to read before they motioned him closer with a wave of their hand. Eager to learn anything at all about his situation, he did as requested and moved toward the table. There wasn't much on it, just a couple of items, and he watched as the strange person picked up something black and familiar.

A mask. Just like the one they were wearing.

They placed the mask in his hand and Jacen arched a brow. The other pantomimed placing it on his face, and he couldn't help but frown. With everything that was happening, the last thing he wanted to do was put something foreign on his face. Seeing his hesitation, the person bent down, scooped up some sand, and threw it at him.

As far as attacks went it was harmless, if surprising, and he sputtered and cursed and dismayed at the continued silence. Spitting out sand, he glowered then shifted back when he saw they had another handful ready to use. What had he done?

Nothing it seemed, because this one wasn't for him. Instead, the person in white threw the sand at their own face where the granules stopped at the mask's surface. It clicked then and he put the pieces together.

This time he studied the mask more carefully. Lightweight. Breathable. Sturdy. A glance outside showed the sanded dunes all around and he wondered just how deep in the desert he was because clearly the mask was meant to protect him. The smooth, hard surface would keep the sand from tearing his face apart while the lightweight mesh of the hood would keep it in place.

But why would he go out there at all?

 _Why wouldn't he?_ Jacen asked himself, the only voice he could hear now in this weirdly voiceless world. He couldn't stay here. He didn't even know where _here_ was, and if he wanted to get back to his mom and the crew — which he did — he needed to figure that out and how to get back.

Slowly Jacen placed the mask on his face and pulled the mesh hood down over the back of his head. It conformed to the contours of his face automatically, a comfortable, almost unnoticeable fit, and like this he realized he could see out of the eye holes perfectly, even though they were closed over by some transparent material and protected by the mask too.

Putting the mask on seemed like a signal to the white-cloaked figure, and suddenly fingers were moving around him, pulling a second hood he hadn't realized was attached to his cloak up and over his crown. They tugged it this way and that so it hung over his head and shoulders, a face-hole opening sealing seamlessly against the edges of the mask. The entire outfit, Jacen realized, was made to work together. Made to protect him from the desert heat and cold and keep the sand out.

Properly dressed, the white-cloaked person motioned for him to follow outside to the desert. This time the wind and sand didn’t claw at Jacen’s exposed face at all with the chill. He was warm and comfortable, the entire outfit light, breathable, and durable as it fluttered and danced with the breeze.

This guide was quickly descending stone steps and Jacen followed, transitioning from the stable world of aged stone to the soft, fine-grained sand his booted feet sunk into. For a moment he wondered if sand would get in, but again, the outfit seemed designed to handle the environment. No sand invaded to grate against his heels or toes and soon they were climbing.

Jacen followed his guide’s pitted footsteps in the sand. He didn't know what to expect or where they were leading him, but any information was good information at this point. And besides, he genuinely wanted to know. There was something about this place, something strange he'd felt since the moment he'd woken up. It was like a presence of some kind, an energy he couldn't quite describe but felt like a current at the edge of his awareness.

And now, as he ascended, it pulled at him, strengthening, and it wasn't curiosity which drew him the rest of the way to the summit, but a pervasive _need_. There was something there beyond the top of the dune, he could feel it.

The white-clad figure crested and made space for him, waiting, but Jacen hardly noticed. He sprinted the rest of the way, heart pounding with exertion and something else. Despite the warmth of his clothing, a chill rolled along every nerve he had as he froze at the top, staring.

Jacen's entire experience of the world changed.

Far in the distance across a vast golden desert was a lone mountain rising out of the world like a monument of nature, and at the summit, it glowed. White light glittered like a star at the pinnacle, beautiful and pure, a beacon lighting the way. But it wasn't only his eyes that were drawn to it. It was more than that.

The mountain – no. The light. It called to him. Not with his eyes or his logic, but with something deeper. Something soul-crushing and stronger than anything he'd ever experienced in his life.

There. He had to go _there_.

He was already taking a step toward it, the sand all but parting to ease his way down the dune when a white-clad hand on his shoulder stopped him. His experience of the world shifted again, leveling out though his heart felt oriented toward the mountain as if charged like a compass needle, and he remembered that he wasn't alone. He turned to his white-cloaked guide, making a face though they couldn't see it past his mask. Their hand dropped from his shoulder, but the other hand rose.

A device was sitting in the palm of their hand and when Jacen only stared at it, they reached for his hand and placed it there. Curious, he studied it, trying to understand. It was a simple voice recorder.

But he couldn't speak. Why would he need something like this?

Doing his best to convey his bewilderment with his body language, he didn't seem to get the question across. That or the person deliberately wasn't responding to it. Instead, they closed his fingers around the recorder and pointed toward the glowing mountain. This message, at least, was clear. That was the way.

But the way was miles and miles worth of desert to cross. No speeders that he could see. No maps. No anything as far as he could tell. Just endless golden dunes and the one mountain for orientation. What would he do about food? Water? If that was the way, how was he supposed to survive long enough to make it? How did he even know that _was_ the way?

Jacen's heart wavered, but then to his surprise, his guide did the strangest thing. They placed a hand over the center of his chest.

That energy he felt pulling him toward the mountain was suddenly there between them, invisible and unlike anything he'd ever experienced in his life, and while it didn't speak in words, there was a wordless understanding now. He knew. This person was telling him something with his energy, and Jacen just ... just knew what it was.

Trust.

The hand, solid and warm, slowly dropped from his chest and once again they pointed toward the mountain.

And although Jacen was still bothered by ... well, _everything_ that was going on, his feet began moving down the sand dunes, each step unsteady like the first new steps of a newborn Loth-cat. He didn't know why he was doing this, nor why he was trusting this person in white, but he did. And he was.

When Jacen crested the next dune and glanced back, he was surprised to find nothing but unending sand. There was no hut in the middle of the golden desert. No silent guide. No second set of tracks in the sand. Nothing.

He was alone.

* * *

**Caleb**

Caleb surged to awareness, throwing himself to his feet and reaching out for his lightsaber with the Force so quickly he barely registered that he was awake. They'd been in a fight, he and Master Billaba, and they'd been separated. The droid army had been closing in and there hadn't been much time to think or plan. It had been an onslaught of fighting, the distinctive hum of his blade his only companion as he'd slashed metal, reflected bolts, and generally did everything he could possibly do to stay above the flood and survive.

But there had been so many of them and without the support of the clones or his master, the best plan he could come up with was to retreat. Find a way to make it back to their forces or devise a plan that would destroy enough of the droid army that he could get past them and back to safety. In the fury of the fight, he'd relied on the Force to guide him as he sought a way toward safety, some way, _any way_.

And then, to his horror, he'd fallen.

Adrenaline shot through his body, giving him no peace as he tried to make sense of his surroundings, but panic buzzed under his ribs instead of calm when he called for his lightsaber again and it did not come. The Force was there and he was alive somehow, but wherever he was, his lightsaber wasn't with him. Stolen. Lost. It was all he could think of here in this hut with afternoon sun flooding through the window to blind him, and sand, so much sand and—

Caleb's mind snagged. Sand? There wasn't sand like this on Mygeeto.

Heart throbbing and muscles aching for action, Caleb forced himself to calm down and take it all in. Wherever he was, this absolutely _was not_ Mygeeto. He was alone in this small hut on a makeshift bed in clothes that weren't his in what looked like a desert, if the view outside was anything to go by. A quick glance confirmed that there was nothing of his anywhere nearby – most distressingly his lightsaber – and he struggled to make sense of the situation. Had he been kidnapped? Was this some kind of test? How long had he been out, and what had happened to his master and the clones?

What was going _on_?

Bothered and relying on the only thing he knew, he reached out to the Force, desperate for an answer. It was there, it had to give him something, anything.

The flood of the Force inundated him.

Staggering, Caleb steadied himself on the table, one hand going to his short hair because _whoa_. The Force was strong here, _really strong_. Usually it flowed through him, a constant companion, but flood was the right word because it was everywhere here. Everything was filled to the brim with the Force, the air all but saturated with it. And while it didn't exactly give him a clear answer, it gave him something.

A pull. A direction. Caleb was out of the hut, down the platform, and then scrambling up the nearest dune, chest heaving as he was drawn like an arrow upward. There was something beyond the dune, something important. It would have the answers, that much he was sure about. There was an answer there. A way.

Caleb's breath left him and any sound he might have made was stolen by the wind in his ears as he stared transfixed. There was a mountain on the horizon rising above the desert plains, and the peak glowed with light. The Force was strongest there, all but calling him toward it like the pull of gravity had shifted and that was its epicenter. That place was right. That was where he had to go. Whatever had happened, whatever questions he might have, if he got _there_ , everything would be answered and explained.

And above that, more importantly, he could somehow hear the call of his kyber crystal. His lightsaber was there.

It was all he needed to make his decision. Somehow, someway, he was getting there. And once he got there he'd figure out what had happened before getting back to his master and the war. Whatever was going on couldn't have happened at a worse time, but he sensed that what he needed now was patience.

One thing at a time.

The sun blazed and the breeze was sending sand pelting at his cheeks. The desert reflected the heat of the sun but the strange red robes he was wearing did a surprisingly great job of keeping him cool. It was lightweight, breathable, durable and it kept the sand out. There was even a hood.

A quick glance around told him that there was no hope of finding a speeder anywhere, and he could only hope that as he went, he'd find others who might be able to help him with food and water because there was nothing like that here. Just that barren hut built upon the weathered ruins of some stone structure long forgotten.

It was then Caleb realized he wasn't alone.

At the hut’s entrance he saw a figure all but glowing in the sun, dressed in a white variation of the outfit he was wearing. They moved to the edge of the stone platform, facing the dune he stood atop.

Whoever they were was staring at him.

A stab of panic fluttered in his chest because like this, on top of this dune, he was nauseatingly aware of how exposed he was. Anyone and anything could shoot or attack him, and he didn't have his lightsaber to defend himself. There was only the thickness of the Force to help, and he reached for it just in case, preparing for an attack.

But none came.

As the moments passed, Caleb waited to see if the figure would do anything and with each slow second nothing happened. They only stared at each other, an odd stalemate.

Then the white-cloaked figure threw something at him.

It was only because the Force didn't suggest it was dangerous that Caleb caught the object — objects — and he was bewildered to find that it was a well-crafted black mask and a voice recorder. The mask was obvious enough if only from all the sand he was struggling to deal with already, but what did he need with a voice recorder?

He glanced back, half a moment from shouting his question, but the question was lost when he saw that the white-cloaked person wasn't on the platform but level with him a dune away, having moved in the space of a second. Alarmed as Caleb was by the abrupt change, the person did little more than point toward the mountain. If the gesture hadn't been clear, the sudden sensation in the Force - a Force-impression made from pure intention and emotion - was.

_Go._

Caleb opened his mouth to say something, needed to know, but the pull of the Force was stronger. Instead he yanked on the mask, tugged the hood up over his head and let the outfit seal against the sand. Then he turned and went.

Caleb didn't look back. And even if he had, there would have been no one and nothing there.

* * *

**< First Vocal Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

I don't know why they gave me this, it’s not like I can-I can hear myself! Kriffing hell, I can hear myself! What's going on here? Why's it-how—?

(Excited scream followed by a long, loud, relieved laugh)

**< End Log>**

* * *

**< First Vocal Log - Caleb Dume>**

What am I supposed to use this for?

(Audible sigh)

**< End Log>**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the journey begins! I hope you enjoyed the start because we've got quite a ride ahead. I'd love to know what you thought about the chapter :] 
> 
> You can follow me on [my tumblr](https://okadiah.tumblr.com/) for general story updates, thoughts, and many, many Star Wars related reblogs. Until next time!


	2. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's chapter 2! There might be some chance meetings, but who knows~
> 
> Enjoy!

**Jacen**

Jacen did what he always did when he was stuck in a new environment he didn't know or understand. It was one of the first things his mother had taught him as he’d toddled through new worlds, experiences, and people.

Learn.

Granted, this was a desert, so there wasn't a whole lot to learn from. He'd been to plenty of desert planets before with his mom and his uncles. They traveled a lot on supply and diplomacy trips, and Ryloth and Lothal weren't exactly the lushest places in the Galaxy. Soon he'd remembered how best to climb sand dunes, that a straight path would wind him faster than a winding one over the ridges at the top since he could never tell at a glance just how steep the dunes were and how hard he’d have to fight to climb them.

It was slow work, and after hours of walking with the sun overhead and the wind playing with the edges of his red cloak, Jacen realized he was parched. He had to find water, and soon. He had to get food too, or this bizarre journey he was undertaking would be over sooner than he'd like, and with a permanent outcome he didn’t want.

That was when he learned the first truly amazing thing about this place. The very moment he craved water or became hungry, just over the next rise he found an oasis. One that could not and should not have been there.

He hadn't noticed at first. He'd been too surprised and relieved to find cool and clear water and the fruits that grew out of the pools to care about how easily his luck had changed. Jacen drank and ate and recovered himself, and all the while he listened to the sound of nature and stared at the sky. Sometimes he'd even try to speak again, but the end result was always the same void of silence that continued to consume his words.

But he became more aware of the strangeness as the day went on and he had little else to occupy his mind besides what was happening to him. It was eerie in a way he didn't want to think about, like the desert was adapting to him and his unspoken needs. Helping him.

That, or maybe it was just the heat getting to him because it was _hot_.

But no matter how hot it was, the clothing kept the edge off like it had the morning's cold. And protected as he was by the red clothing, the sand never entered his shoes or wormed its way under the fabric. Unlike every time he'd ever been to a desert planet, there were no rough granules slowly sinking into the cracks of his body. With the mask on sand wasn’t even in his mouth, and there should've been given how many times he'd accidentally fallen over and faceplanted when the wind got rough.

The place was, needless to say, strange.

Yet the mountain glowed ahead of him, drawing him closer like the energy he could feel throughout him now, an energy which seemed strongest in his chest. When the grudge of the work tore at him and he wondered what the hell he was doing, Jacen glanced up and he didn't have to wonder anymore because the answer was right there, the mountain. The light. Any questions he had about how he got here, this place, and how to get back, would be found there. He just had to get there to the top, but progress was slow.

Jacen had never walked the expanses of a desert before, not like this. He'd flown over tons but never walked for hours and hours like this, with the wind sometimes fighting him viciously, shoving him backward and ruining the winding drudge of his progress. At times like those, he wondered how long it would take him to get to the mountain, if he got to the mountain at all.

When dusk of the first day had set and it wasn't thirst or hunger that drove him but fatigue and a deep, deep need to find somewhere solid amidst the sand, Jacen was unsurprised to find the weathered shell of a broken ruin surrounded and protected from the wind on all sides by high dunes. Carefully he skidded to the bottom and inspected the place, finding no one and nothing of real interest before he climbed to the remains of the upper floor, away from the sand and as close to the sky as possible.

From there he stood and watched the sunset paint the sky vivid pinks and violets before drawing it all into night's unending and deep blue.

* * *

**< Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

So ... I tried to go as long as I could without using this thing because, honestly? It feels a little weird. I mean, I know it’s only been a day and this is the only way I'm able to hear myself, but the idea of just talking to the recorder? To no one really except me? It's weird. I don't think it's something Mom would like unless it served a purpose, but what is the purpose of this? This whole place, I mean? I don't know. I kept thinking about it today. Where am I? Why am I here? Why did that person in white give me this thing, and should I use it?

I'll lie and tell everyone who finds out about this that I used it because I figured something clever out, but really, I'm just tired of the quiet. I can’t even hear myself huff or groan as I climb the sand! It's like I've gone deaf but not completely, and listening to myself like this? I'm just relieved to hear _me_. It's so weird but also so true.

Now that I've started, I don't really know what to say. I wonder if that's fine? I guess that's fine. No one's really told me one way or another, not that there's anyone around to tell me anything.

I hope I get to the mountain soon, but at this pace I think it's going to take me an age.

I hope Mom isn't too worried about me, but I know I’d be worried about her if she’d gotten caught in that ion storm and vanished.

(Sigh)

I hope she's okay.

(Pause)

I just realized there aren't any stars in the sky.

What sort of place doesn't have stars?

**< End Log>**

* * *

Alone on his back, resting on the upper level of stone ruins he'd decided to sleep in for the night, Jacen stared at the sky and felt so ... small. These first steps toward the mountain had been almost easy because they had been distracting. He could see the mountain. The sun was a constant companion. He fought the wind and his footsteps kept the silence away. Now that he'd stopped, all of that had stopped, and after using the recorder he'd realized why he felt starkly different with the sun down, unmoving.

He was so very alone.

There hadn't been time to realize it earlier with the activity, but now as he waited for dawn, he didn't even have the stars for company. It made his inner navigator queasy because there were _always_ stars in the sky. Stars to guide him and remind him that he was not alone no matter where he was in the Galaxy, never alone.

But there were no stars here. And when he'd looked back at the white-cloaked guide right as he was leaving, they and the ruins of their hut had been gone, like a dream, and Jacen realized that all day he hadn't seen another soul, not once.

He'd never felt more alone.

And he wondered more than that, what this strange energy he felt deep in the core of his heart was. He'd felt it since the moment he'd woken up. It filled his heart, leaving him feeling weirdly open and vulnerable, like someone had reached into his chest and ripped something open. Something he realized he’d always felt, if barely. It was what he’d thought of as flight intuition. The augmentation wasn't exactly painful, but it was strange. He could feel things in a way he'd never explicitly felt before.

Over the hours he stared at the dark sky, sleep evading him and filled with only idle thoughts to keep him company, Jacen wondered what this energy was. He wondered if his dad would've known.

He wondered, with the faintest hope in his heart, if this energy he could suddenly feel so keenly was the Force.

Jacen didn't have long to ponder because almost as soon as he'd had the thought, he bolted upright, scrambling, alarmed when the energy blared with life and awareness. He'd moved entirely on reflex, flipping across the stone platform when a figure all but threw themselves over one of the high dunes above and came tumbling down into his campsite to land in a motionless heap at the bottom.

* * *

**Caleb**

Although this place was strong in the Force, all Caleb could think was — as respectfully as possible — how much he _hated_ it.

Granted, a lot of the reasons why he hated it was because he was here and not where he was supposed to be, with Master Billaba and their troops, fighting to keep the Republic and its people safe. Here, surrounded by all this sand and nothing except the mountain ahead, unmoving and distant no matter how many dunes he climbed and how hard he struggled, all he could think about was how much time he was wasting. He wanted a speeder and would've promised anything for one if it meant the journey ended sooner and he could be back where he belonged.

With the Force so thick here, he'd hoped it would be more amenable. Would listen to him and provide him with more direction than it already had, but it didn't. Instead it hung on him like a haze, almost lazy though ever-present, watching as he struggled against the desert and its rigors with every huff and stomp. Frustrated, Caleb let out a sharp curse his master would have eyed him for.

It was then that he realized he couldn't speak. Or at least, that he couldn't hear himself no matter how hard or how loudly he shouted.

It didn't make sense, none of this made sense, and it just made the entirety of the situation that much worse. He wanted answers, he wanted to get to the mountain, he wanted the simple pleasure of a forbidden swear, and even that had been taken from him.

And what was worse was that the longer he went on, the thirstier he got. The hungrier he got. He was never too hot, but there was no denying that he was in trouble, deep trouble if he couldn't find something to keep him going. This trip was going to be cut short quick if he couldn't find the necessities of life, and he still had no idea what the recorder was for because that was all it was. He was bitterly tempted to throw it away because what was the use? But every time he considered it, the Force would rise like a warning and he'd grudgingly tuck it away.

Thankfully the sun had set and the temperatures that had nagged at him all day were finally cooling. His mouth was parched, his stomach was empty and all he had to keep him going was the dry sound of his feet sinking into yet another dune. He was tired. He needed to stop, but the need to clear as much distance as he could dragged at him. He needed to get back _now_.

But even he had to admit that there was no point in getting back if he killed himself in the process.

Again he turned his attention to the Force. He wanted food. He wanted water. More than anything he wanted answers. Would it finally just give him a hint and show him the way somewhere? Anywhere?

To his utter astonishment, the pull he felt toward the mountain subtly changed. There was another tug now, one that felt stronger, closer. The Force urged him, filling him with the energy he needed to go just a bit further. All he had to do was get there.

Caleb ran.

Perhaps he was overzealous in hindsight, but he hadn't realized whatever it was the Force was leading him to was literally right over the next dune. Nor did he think it was going to be as steep as it was when everything else had been steadily rolling mounds.

His excitement sent him all but flying over the edge, his feet trying to find purchase in nothing but air, and soon his arms cartwheeled as a silent scream burst out of his mouth. In the strong moonlight he managed to catch a glimpse of a stone ruin, the first he'd seen since he'd woken up. There was a flash of a form atop it, but it was gone the next moment when he landed in the sand, rolling and rolling until he came to a graceless stop.

Caleb lay on his back, breathless and beat though he was glad for the mask because he definitely would've gotten more than a mouthful of sand by now. He stared at the bright moon, trying to recollect himself when all he wanted to do was lay there forever, now that he was prone.

One moment there was only the moon above. The next there was a cloaked figure kneeling over him, a hesitant hand stretching out.

Caleb reacted on instinct. Coming fresh off the battlefield, despite the pull of the Force he couldn't discount anything as a threat. Moving quickly he shoved himself up and used the Force to backflip to a better distance, shoving the other away. Caleb almost toppled in the sand when he landed, but it was nothing compared to the way the other cloaked figure pinwheeled back, falling hard. With little else to do, he readied himself for a fight, consulting the Force for what he should do next and how he should proceed.

To his astonishment, the pull he'd felt earlier came from the person he'd just found.

A flash of alarm flooded the space between them as the other scrambled to their feet, hands raised to show they weren’t a threat, but their stance also suggested that they'd be more prepared if Caleb attacked again.

The stranger slowly pulled off their hood and mask, and Caleb was surprised to see another boy standing across from him, maybe a year or two older with dark hair and little else he could see in the moon's light. Alarm and wary caution echoed through the Force from this boy, and Caleb realized he must have startled him when he'd all but launched himself into the place and practically attacked him.

Trying to calm the other boy and contain the situation, Caleb pulled down his own hood and mask, showing his face, and tried to say sorry. Tell the other kid that he hadn't meant to scare him.

But no words came out.

The surprise must have been evident on Caleb's face – he wasn't used to this Force-induced mute-ness – but he was surprised to see the same shock echoed on the other boy's face. It was as if he'd expected to hear something but hadn't either.

The boy's mouth moved, and Caleb couldn't hear a thing. The boy pointed toward his throat, cupped his ear, shook his head, threw his hands in the air and then gestured to him, and Caleb laughed soundlessly because yes! He understood! Or, he thought he understood. This other kid was suffering from the same weird hearing loss he was, and he did his best to gesture that he was in the same state. So many questions bubbled up in his mind, so many things he wanted to ask because _finally_ there was someone to ask.

Getting a brilliant idea, he motioned the other boy over before dropping to his knees, hunching over the sand in a way that kept the silvery light of the moon clearly visible. Excited, he stretched out a finger and began to write. In Basic Caleb asked what was going on, but before the first letter was finished a gust of wind blew it away. He tried again, but to his irritation every line was destroyed a moment later. Again the Force rose, and he sensed its hand in this.

Desperate, Caleb scowled and slammed his hands on the ground. How was he supposed to talk to this kid? How was he supposed to ask for help when the Force wouldn't let him communicate?

A hand gently squeezed his shoulder, though it was gone just as quickly, and Caleb eyed the other boy with a tired gaze. His lips were pressed thin but the way his brow was furrowed, coupled with the wary concern rolling off him in waves, made the silent question evident. Seemed they could use body language to speak, he guessed, but Caleb didn't know any sign languages.

But some things were universal. He gave a silent sigh before beginning a charade of drinking water and eating food, clenching at his throat to indicate his thirst and his stomach for hunger. For a moment he thought the boy wouldn't be able to piece it together, his mind scrambling for anything else to bridge the linguistic gap, but then the boy’s eyebrows lifted. Blunt understanding echoed in the Force.

The boy lifted a finger and Caleb jerked around to see the ruins, but there was nothing there except the shadowed structure. He couldn't stop the faint bite of irritation that slipped into the Force, but the boy was insistent, motioning for him to follow. With nothing else to do except hope this made more sense, he struggled to his feet.

Behind the ruins, the sight of a spring with fresh fruit growing out of it threatened to make him weep.

Overwhelmed with thirst and hunger, Caleb lunged to the spring, sticking his mouth into the water and for the first time in several long, dry hours sucked in delicious, cool water. His body relished the moisture, revitalizing, and after several long gulps he broke for air and sighed. A fruit appeared in his line of sight, offered by the other boy, and Caleb took it with a pulse of thanks in the Force. He'd never tasted anything like it before, the taste light and sweet but filling.

Moving slower now that he was finally fed and his thirst was quenched, he saw that the other boy had taken a seat on the edge of the pool a few feet away. He was watching him, and to be polite, Caleb offered a fruit the boy's way though he waved it off with a small smile. Caleb saw the boy's mouth open a few times, wondered if he was trying to speak, but still there was nothing but the silence.

Finished, the vitality that had overwhelmed him for the food and the water now left him tired and sated. The afternoon had been a hard slog over the dunes. Now that he'd stopped all he wanted now was to rest and sleep for what felt like a week. His eyes were getting heavy, and he knew he could probably curl up here and now, but motion to the side of him drew his attention. The other boy stood, then motioned for Caleb to follow. Silently they climbed to the top of the ruins where there was a semi-protected area the wind couldn't quite touch, one that left the sky above exposed and visible.

The boy sat, indicating for him to do the same before pantomiming sleep with an act so excessive it was almost ridiculous, but also appreciated. Sleep. Right now that was all Caleb wanted, and although his natural tendency in this sort of situation was to be cautious, the Force had led him here, to this boy. And this boy had helped him even when Caleb had been less than friendly.

His hesitation must have been clear because, to his surprise, the boy stuck his hand out. The Force radiated earnest trust, absolute avoidance of danger, and a strange promise of protection. It was so surprising and unexpected that Caleb stared. The boy frowned, glancing away as if trying to figure out some other way to express his intention, but Caleb understood.

Caleb grasped the other boy's hand and held it firm, offering the exact same in response.

The Force swelled and curled around them, and Caleb knew he had nothing to fear from this boy. Nothing at all. His chest relaxed, his heart eased, and he smiled at his new companion who smiled back at him, just as amazed.

Then, exhausted, Caleb collapsed onto the stone and let sleep take him.

* * *

**< Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

Things just keep getting weirder and weirder. There’s a kid here now, another boy who I don’t think knows much more than I do, not that he can talk either. Makes me wonder what’s going to happen when I wake up later because at this point, I’m willing to bet it could be anything.

I know one thing though. There’s something about him. I don’t know what, but we shook hands and … I don’t know. I felt something. And I don’t know why or how, but it’s true. It’s just not possible for it not to be true, which is maybe the weirdest part of all of this.

I trust him. And even weirder still …

(Sighs)

You know what, it’s stupid. Never mind.

**< End Log>**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They've met! Who else is excited to see what happens when the sun comes up and they become truly acquainted? I know I can't wait to share :]
> 
> I hope you all are staying healthy and safe in light of our current coronavirus situation. Wash hands, social distance, be kind, and enjoy a whole lot of fanfic while you can if you can (I know I'm going to try if I have the time lol).
> 
> You can follow me on [my tumblr](https://okadiah.tumblr.com/) for general story updates, thoughts, and many, many Star Wars related reblogs. Until next time!


	3. The Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back again! I hope you've all been well and safe, and I hope you enjoy this next part :]

**Jacen**

The morning sun drew Jacen from the doze he'd finally drifted into back to the waking world with a gentle kiss of warmth on his cheek. He groaned, or would've made the sound if he could have, not that the silence seemed to have changed overnight. Regardless, he yawned and stretched his tired muscles, blinking sleep and fatigue from his eyes as he glanced around. It was still dark though the sun had just broken over the horizon. Nothing was different. Just him and the boy from last night curled tight a foot away, still asleep.

Jacen rose to his feet, working out the kinks in his back before he moved to the edge of the ruins to watch the dawn. It was beautiful, a cascade of vibrant colors only Sabine could have matched.

There was someone on the crest of the dune above. They were looking at him.

A bolt of surprise shot through Jacen. Whoever it was wasn't in the white of his guide, nor were they in the red he was wearing. They weren't in a cloak at all. Instead, a man stood silhouetted in the morning light, the details of him all but impossible to make out.

Except for a short ponytail which bobbed gently in the wind.

Jacen's eyes widened, and as stupid as it was, as impossible as it was, he couldn't stop himself. He leaped off the platform, scrambling and stumbling in the sand as he struggled to stay upright and keep his eyes on the figure. Frantic, he shouted but he had no voice, and the man, he was turning away. Jacen pushed himself faster, fighting against the steep wall of sand, shoving his hands into it to kriffing climb to the top, to get to the man, and—

His breath left him as he reached the summit, all but blinded by the intensity of the sunrise. It flooded his vision, overwhelmed his eyes with majesty and brightness so strong he had to shield them with a hand. The desert expanded out from him like a blanket of rippling gold and it was stunning. Maybe one of the most incredible sights he'd ever seen.

But the man wasn't there.

Jacen jerked around, ignoring the brilliance of the world as he searched, but now that he’d arrived there was no one. He searched the sand for tracks, for a direction, for proof, for _anything_ , but all he found was his own harried trail up the sand, and the shallow hole he was slowly sinking into as he moved. There wasn't a second set. There was nothing.

Jacen’s throat tightened and he struggled to stay calm and rationalize what he'd seen. There had been someone. He'd _seen_ them. The man had been looking _right_ at him.

Motion to his side made his heart lurch with hope, but to his disappointment he saw it was only the boy from last night. In his rush to climb the dune, he must have woken the other boy because he was there beside him now, eyes narrowed and fingers outstretched and ready for a fight. But there was no fight. Besides each other and the ruins they'd slept in, there was nothing.

Jacen's shoulders slumped and he tried not to be disappointed. He guessed he'd just ... imagined it.

The boy arched a brow, and for the first time he saw the kid properly in the light. The moon had done what it could last night, but the sun showed a human boy with tanned skin, short dark hair, and a narrow braid trailing down his shoulder. They were just about the same age and size, Jacen maybe a little older and slightly bigger.

This boy had the most incredible teal eyes he'd ever seen. And there was something about his eyebrows that made Jacen think he'd seen them somewhere before.

The boy arched his brow higher, the question still unanswered, and Jacen tried to explain what had happened but once again no words came out. Irritated, he glanced heavenward to collect himself, then shook his head and waved his hand, hoping the other boy realized he’d made a mistake.

He seemed to get it if just by the way he relaxed, and after taking a look around himself he yawned and stretched before scratching a hand through his hair and grimacing when he found sand particles wedged in. Jacen tried not to smile but couldn't help it. It was like once he took off the mask to eat or drink or just feel the wind on his face, the sand did its best to infiltrate.

Jacen’s stomach gurgled and this time the other boy grinned at him before nodding toward the spring with its fruit and all but skidding down the dune with a confidence that was surprising, given how he'd fallen into the pit last night. Jacen followed more sedately, less skidding more gravity-aided trotting, and soon they were having breakfast and preparing for the day. The other boy moved fast, practically racing through his food, occasionally glancing at him, but the moment Jacen was done the boy gestured to him to follow.

How could he not?

Together they fought their way out of the pit, and if the desert dawn had been breathtaking, it was nothing compared to the way the mountain glowed in the cool pre-dawn that hadn't reached that part of the sky yet. Just like yesterday, seeing it made the energy within him soar, reminding him that the only way forward was toward it. But to his surprise, the other boy lifted a finger, pointed to himself, pointed to the mountain, then looked expectedly at him.

Jacen's eyes widened and then he quickly did the same move because that was where he was going! That was where they were both going, and he could see it in the other boy's face.

Maybe they could go together?

Jacen pointed to himself, then the other boy, then the mountain. His new companion nodded readily, a grin spilling over his face, and Jacen couldn't help but match it. They were both headed toward the same place. And they might as well travel together.

The boy, Eyebrows, surprised him by grabbing his wrist and tugging toward the mountain, a very physical way of asking if Jacen was ready to go. With little else to stop him, he pulled on his mask and hood in time with the other boy and while it was still cool, they set off.

* * *

**Caleb**

Caleb thought he was under attack when the Force flooded with alertness, and on the cusp of waking he saw a blur of red leap away and move fast. After all the time on the battlefield he'd spent with Master Billaba, when someone moved in a hurry like that it was never anything good, and although for a second he had no idea where he was or what was going on, it didn't matter. Something was happening and he had to _go_.

The moment his feet hit sand he remembered where he was and what had happened, even if he'd hoped before he'd collapsed last night that he'd wake up and this would've all been some sort of crazy dream. He didn't let it bother him, not when the other boy was scrambling up the sand like an acklay scaling a cliff. Was there something there? A threat? What had he seen? What was going on?

Forgetting himself for a moment, Caleb shouted. Only stark silence came out of his mouth and it was just another thing he did not care for about this place. But he didn't let it stop him from going after the boy or preparing for a fight once they both stood at the top of the sand, the morning sun almost blinding. For a quick second, he forgot to be wary and on guard because the sight of the desert stretching to the horizon bathed and shining a pure, warm gold was breathtaking.

But as much as he wanted to be drawn into the natural beauty around him, the other boy was glancing around frantically and now that Caleb was up here, he looked around too. But he couldn't see anything. All there was was desert in every direction. He even searched the Force and found nothing. It was the two of them, alone in this barren world.

He eyed the boy and was surprised to see the boy was near-human, with green hair in a strange shaved style he’d never seen before, and tanned skin that transitioned green right at his ears. His eyes were an insane, impossible teal that caught the sun, and those eyebrows! Jeez!

There was something familiar about those eyebrows.

Green-Hair seemed disappointed but now that things were fine and they were both up, Caleb was ready to get moving and after a quick breakfast and careful hydration, because he had no idea when he'd next find water, he was ready to go. The sun was still low in the sky, the air was cool and he wanted to make the most of it.

It was then that he wondered just where this other boy was going. And to his excitement, he found out he was also going to the mountain and was just as eager to go together. They'd set off and Caleb, for the first time since this mess began, felt more confident about whatever was going on. And while they couldn't talk, at least he wasn't alone anymore. They could help each other. Look out for each other.

That's what he thought until he realized just how slow Green-Hair was.

At first Caleb decided to be nice and wait for his new companion at the crest of every dune he climbed, but it bothered him how long it took because the other kid moved in a zig-zag motion along the backs of the dunes, never straight and direct. Didn't he realize that a straight line from point A to B was the shortest? They had a goal, the mountain. Didn't he want to get there? Sure, climbing the dunes was challenging, but with the support of the Force it was easy to do, and he could feel it clear as day. The other kid could use it too. The Force gathered around him, strong and waiting, but he never used it.

After a while Caleb couldn't take it anymore, and although he didn't want to leave the other kid behind, he also needed to get to the mountain. He needed to get his lightsaber, get some answers, and get back where he belonged.

So he'd said a silent goodbye with a wave of his hand and made peace with the fact that he would have to continue journeying alone.

And for the first time all day, he went at his own pace, keeping the light of the mountain directly in sight. He climbed dune after dune, the sand soft and sliding under every footstep but it felt like he was covering distance. It felt like he was making progress. He was already so far ahead of the other boy who looked like a small speck on the horizon behind him. He just had to keep going.

But soon he found himself struggling to climb the dunes because it was difficult to judge the grade of the sand, and slopes he'd assumed were gentle and rolling were steeper and more mountainous than they first appeared. He reached more and more for the Force to help overcome the obstacles, but even with its help his muscles shook hard and his mouth was parched. The struggle was laborious and taxing, and although he was making distance and time, he was paying for it. He kept hoping he'd come across a water source, but soon the beauty of the desert vanished to reveal only its harsh nature.

Exhausted and on one of his frequent rests on the tops of dunes conquered, he was catching his breath when he looked up and noticed something. There, far in the distance, something moved. At first he was bewildered, because how had Green-Hair made it that far ahead of him?

Caleb shook his head because that was impossible, and besides, it wasn't the same person. It couldn't be. The person on the horizon wasn’t dressed in red or white like the other boy and the native who'd watched him go. No, this person was dressed in brown robes that shifted about him in a way that was achingly familiar. Those, he was positive, were Jedi robes.

There was a Jedi here. And as far as they were ahead of them, whoever it was was also moving toward the mountain. That meant they were doing the same thing he was. They might know what was going on. They might be able to help him!

Reinvigorated, Caleb found his second wind and plunged forward, ignoring the way his body resisted him and struggled to keep up. It was dangerous, he knew, he needed to be careful about conserving his energy, but the Jedi ahead would be able to help him. They'd know what to do and how to get to the mountain, he was sure of it. He just had to reach them.

Caleb moved faster now, the image of the Jedi flickering with the heatwaves hovering above the sand, but he was doing it. It took time but soon he was close enough to see the wind pull at the Jedi's robes. This close he could see it was a man, one with a sort, dark ponytail that shifted with every step. Caleb called out to him, but his voice was snatched away and no matter what he did, he couldn't draw the Jedi's attention. He tried calling out in the Force, but that didn't help either.

Then, to his surprise, the man had stopped. All Caleb had to do was get to the top of this one dune, and he'd have caught up. The Jedi would see him—

There was no one at the top of the dune.

As a matter of fact, there was no one anywhere around, and for the first time Caleb realized the only footsteps in the sand were his own. There should've been a second set to match his, bigger and deeper, but no. All this time he hadn't noticed another set, he'd been too focused.

He swallowed despite his dry throat and realized he'd been tracking a mirage this whole time.

Caleb's limbs trembled and gave out, and soon he was rolling in the sand down a dune and into the soft shadow of another. It was cooler here, and prone as he was he couldn't find the strength to get up. He felt overheated and flushed with the exertion and sun, and nauseous from lack of food and water. For the first time he realized how hard he'd pushed himself. With the bit of strength he had left, he pulled off his hood and mask and stared at the sky. He'd underestimated the desert or overestimated his determination and will in the Force. He was alone and weak. He might die here.

But the longer he laid there, the more he felt the connection between him and Green-Hair grow stronger. He was still heading the same direction, after all, he might make it his way. Might be able to find him and help him.

At first, when he saw the other boy crest the dune in the deep afternoon sunlight, he thought he was another mirage too. But slowly the sound of feet in the sand quickly trotting toward him, then hands on his shoulders pulling him upright promised this was not a mirage, but real. With his eyes and his hands, the other boy cajoled him upright and onward, and to his utter astonishment, over the next dune the glittering waters of a spring lay waiting.

This time he couldn’t be convinced that the water here wasn't a mirage because he could _not_ have been this close to salvation and not known it. But as the other boy helped him along and then deposited him at the edge of the pool, he found that yes. This was real.

For the second time he all but threw himself at the water, trying hard to go slow with the liquids, and soon he felt life coming back to him. The sun was well into the afternoon, the day almost over, and frankly Caleb was more than willing to let it end. He was tired, he needed to recover, and if they stayed here tonight that was fine with him.

After the other boy had checked to make sure he was okay and reviving well, Caleb was surprised to find that, now that they were stopping for the night, he pulled out a recorder identical to the one he had. He wasn't sure what Green-Hair planned to do with it, but to his surprise he was using it. Talking to it with words Caleb couldn't hear.

It was weird and it didn't make sense. Why talk to something when you couldn't hear yourself do it? It seemed like an exercise in futility, but the other boy just kept ... talking to it.

Curiously, Caleb pulled out his own and studied it. It didn't look special. It _wasn't_ anything special. He'd used it before but that was before his voice had been taken away, so why would it work now?

But he kept glancing at Green-Hair, and he kept wondering. What if the other kid had figured something special out about it? What if there _was_ something?

Finally, Caleb pressed the record button.

* * *

**< Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

So, I guess I should’ve realized it when he fell over the dunes into camp last night, but this kid is a little weird. Or maybe I'm weird. Or this place is making us both weird. It's been over a day, and really what do I know? Not that much.

But I _have_ spent a day with my new companion, and just based on what I saw today, I know a few things for sure.

He's impatient.

He's determined.

He's really strong with the Force. At least, that's the only thing I can think that this energy is. It's all that makes sense. I once asked Ben Solo what it was like for him last year when I had to know for myself if I had the Force or not, and he said it was like what I’ve been feeling. An energy, or extra awareness, and this new sensation feels like that. I couldn't mistake it for anything else, not ever, not if I tried.

But Eyebrows? The Force flows through him like he's calling to it.

Well, that's what it seems like to me. I mean, I'm not trained in this thing, so I'm just jumping to conclusions and I could be wrong. I probably am, and I know that. But there's this strange connection in the Force between us and I can feel it every time he uses the Force. Whoever he is, he knows what he's doing with it and he's really good at using it. All day I've been trying to remember all the names of the Force-sensitives that Master Skywalker is training because maybe he's one of them?

But no one I remember fits his description.

I’m pretty sure he lost his patience with me about mid-day because that was when he waved and started leaving me behind. I don't know why he's in such a hurry — I mean, I want to get back too. But whatever's driving him, he and I are moving at different wavelengths because while I'm content to walk along the backs of the dunes to conserve energy, even if it's slow, he walks in a straight line, choosing to climb the dunes if it means less distance traveled.

When he noticed I wasn't moving at his pace, he tried to get me to do it, but I've played that game before on other planets, and the last thing I want to do is burn out and waste time recovering. My way is better, but no matter what I gestured to get him to understand, he wasn't having it.

I didn't want him to go, but I got that he needed to do what he needed to do. If I was slowing him down, then that was that. We'd only been traveling together for a little while anyway. People moved on. I tried to be okay with it.

But although I traveled by myself for a few hours, I could still feel him in the Force like we were still connected. We were still going in the same direction, after all. Who knew? I might catch up.

Turned out I did catch up because I found him huffing in the shadow of a big dune with his mask off, and if I wasn't so concerned, I'd have been excited, but he looked bad. I don't know why, but it seemed like he'd just kept going without stopping for food or water and had driven himself to this. It's weird. Doesn't he know how to take care of himself? I had to drag him up over the next dune so I could get him to the water that is literally _always_ there when you need it, and it was like he couldn't believe it.

We're still here now, for his sake because he needed to recover and it's dark again. The moon's strong enough to travel by, but I feel better staying put after walking all day. There still aren't any stars in the sky, I still don't know anything about this place, and besides Eyebrows, I haven't seen a soul except—

No, hallucinations don't count.

But another weird thing about Eyebrows is that he keeps staring at me while I'm doing this. Ever since I pulled out my recorder to make this log, he's been staring, constantly staring. He has one too, I see it in his hands, but he keeps staring at me like this is weird.

I don't know why he keeps eyeing me like that. I'm not doing anything weird, at least I don't think I am, and he's got his own recorder too. He has to know what I'm doing and okay, yeah, it's making me a little self-conscious. Doing this can't be that weird, can it? I mean, I don't know many people who make vocal logs, but it's not that uncommon, and really. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't at least hear myself talk once in a while. Maybe he's just fine with it, but I'm not, and—

(Pauses)

He's dancing around and shouting, though I still can't hear him, and he’s smiling too. Now he's looking at me and pointing at the recorder in his hand, and — _Oh_.

I don't think he knew he could use the recorder to hear himself.

**< End Log>**

* * *

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

This is so stupid this won't-holy kriffing hell, I can hear myself! I can hear myself! This works, this really, really works! I had no _idea_ I could use this to hear myself, and—!

(A loud, excited scream)

**< End Log>**

Several seconds later.

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

So, it looks like I've judged the recorder wrong. Apparently, while I'm using it, I'm able to hear myself talk. So the fact that I haven't heard my voice in a couple of days now and hadn't realized it makes way more sense. But I have to say, I've never been so excited to hear my own voice before, and as much as I _know_ the others at the Temple and Master Billaba would probably laugh at me for saying it, it's true. I've been in this desert with nothing but the sound of the wind and my feet in the sand. I couldn't even hear myself breathe! It's been silence, just dead silence outside of the natural world, and even Green-Hair hasn’t been able to say a word either.

I'm starting to think that maybe, whatever this place is, wherever this place is, no one's allowed to talk. Or at least, I'm not, and neither is Green-Hair. I don't think I'd have figured out the recorder was actually useful if I hadn't run into him. I didn't get it, didn't understand why of all things this was what that white-robed native had thrown at me, but it makes a little more sense now. Kind of.

Who am I kidding, it doesn't make any sense at all.

But I saw him talking to his recorder and I got the idea to try it myself and now I'm pretty sure I'm going to fill this thing up quickly. Hopefully there won’t be any more excited screaming on it, or just screaming in general.

At least no one has to hear it.

At least, I don't think anyone will ever hear it. I'm glad my new friend couldn't hear it. That would've been embarrassing.

**< End Log>**

* * *

**Caleb**

The next day when the sun came up and they were ready to go, Green-Hair eyed him expectantly, waiting for him to take off and leave him behind again. Instead, Caleb smiled and gestured for his new companion to go ahead and lead the way. He didn't know how he kept doing it, but the other boy kept finding food and water and clearly was better adept at surviving in the desert than he was. What was the point of trying to get to the mountain if he killed himself in the process like he almost had twice already?

If he wanted to get there, what he needed to do was have some patience. And if it meant the journey took longer, then it took longer. He'd have to deal with that and hope Master Billaba and the clones could wait. That the war could wait.

Green-Hair smiled, and it wasn't smug or unkind. Then they both donned their masks and hoods and began their next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on [my tumblr](https://okadiah.tumblr.com/) for general story updates, thoughts, and many, many Star Wars related reblogs. Until next time!


	4. The Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I love this chapter. It makes me smile and I hope it makes you smile too.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Jacen**

The days that followed were some of the strangest Jacen had ever experienced.

But also, some of the most ... incredible.

He still didn't know who Eyebrows was nor why his eyes kept snagging on his companion’s features every time the masks came off, and it wasn't for lack of trying. After finding out they could use the recorders to hear themselves, they'd tried to exchange recorders, hold onto each other’s recorders while they were on, talk at the same time, but no matter what they tried they couldn't hear each other. They couldn't write to each other, and even trying to read lips turned out weirdly impossible. The energy, the Force, it was fighting them.

They did learn other ways to communicate.

Body language was easiest, and soon Jacen was careful to be extra expressive when the masks were off during breaks and in the evening. Every thought he did his best to convey with action, and while it didn't always work, when it did, whatever it was became go-to motions in a language they were slowly making together.

When they needed the other's attention they snapped or clapped, and Jacen found out that Eyebrows couldn't snap very well so he’d clap instead. He'd startled the other boy when he'd first snapped at him, and inspired he'd tried to use a sound code his mother had taught him, one made of quick clicks and longer pauses to see if Eyebrows knew how to communicate that way. But given the way he'd stared at him, he was pretty sure it wasn't getting through.

Those first couple of days were quiet and hesitant as they did their best to get to know each other, but it was difficult with the language barrier to overcome. They took turns leading the way, and every time they shifted, Jacen knew they were studying each other — or at least, he was studying Eyebrows.

Eyebrows, it seemed, was on a mission to get to the mountain as quickly as possible. When he was in the lead, he picked up the pace, although Jacen wasn't entirely sure the other boy realized it. He moved with a purpose, every step sure and stride long. Jacen was a child of the Galactic Civil War, so he'd seen and met a lot of other kids his age and he realized he'd never met a kid like this before. He moved as if he was unafraid of what was on the horizon and that none of this was strange to him at all. Sometimes though, at night, Jacen would wake up and find the other boy perched on a dune or as high up as he could get, eyes awake and alert, keeping watch.

When Jacen realized this, he made a point of pulling his share of watch duties, so the other boy felt comfortable enough to sleep. They had to rest or they’d never make it, and if that was the only way Eyebrows could get that rest, then Jacen didn’t mind.

But what really surprised him about Eyebrows was how good he was at using the Force. Of course, Jacen didn't have even the faintest idea about it past what he'd heard from Ben Solo or the stories and holos he'd seen of his dad and Ezra. This was new to him, completely new, but the other boy used the Force as if he'd been doing it all his life. There was a connection between them, and through it Jacen could feel the ease with which the other boy listened to it. When Eyebrows was feeling weak, he called to the Force and the Force strengthened. When they were lost and were trapped amid ridges and ridges of high sand dunes that Jacen couldn't make heads or tails of, the other boy always found the way.

That wasn't to say that Jacen didn't teach him a thing or two either.

It became pretty clear on their third day together that Eyebrows had no idea how to find the water and food and ruins Jacen did whenever they needed them. Every time the other boy would start to seem bothered by a need to drink or eat, Jacen would point to the next dune and there the water would be.

The first few times he'd done this, Eyebrows had been amazed.

The next few times it had happened, the other boy had glanced at him with confused suspicion.

Finally it had gotten to the point where he'd all but demanded Jacen to find water behind every dune around them, and by then Jacen understood what was going on. He’d been amused to show the other kid that, yes. The water was literally anywhere they needed it to be, whenever they needed it.

Jacen had no idea what Eyebrows was saying, but he was pretty sure he'd cursed for a while after, and as funny as that was to watch, eventually he tried to share the sensation he used to find it. It was trust. A want. A belief that when he needed something, it would be there. Eyebrows hadn't gotten it at first, had seemed agitated by this fact, but then Jacen had an idea and thought that if it had worked for him, it might work for the boy.

He'd placed his hand over the boy's chest, closed his eyes, and shared his emotions like his guide had when he’d first woken up.

The other boy really was better at this because he immediately stopped and listened. Jacen kept thinking about what it felt like when he needed something, the trust he had and what he did. He waited to see if the other boy would understand.

Then, to his excitement, Eyebrows pointed over the next dune and found water.

It didn't happen every time his companion tried it, but it did about half of the time. He looked so proud of himself, and Jacen was glad for his mask. He didn't think his new friend would appreciate the proud smile he couldn't stop from spreading across his face for having helped.

* * *

**Caleb**

This desert, wherever they were, was insane.

But Caleb was beginning to think that this kid with the weird green hair was the weirdest and most insane thing here.

First of all, he was so _slow_. Every action he took was long and well-considered behind bright eyes that seemed to see everything. He took his time, which with Caleb's longing to _make_ time and get back to the war was a little irritating. How could he behave like they had all the time in the world when so much was going on? When the Republic as they knew it was under siege?

But over the next day or two, he found he understood more about why Green-Hair took things slower. It wasn't because he was trying to annoy Caleb, but because he was observant and careful. Every move was made with absolute intent, and Caleb was sure the other boy knew about things way before he did because he seemed to notice everything. He was smart, not pushing beyond what he was able, and soon they were making steady distance as opposed to sprinted rushed ones like Caleb preferred. The ends of the day came less because he was exhausted and needed to rest and more because they'd managed to cover ground and were content to stop for the time being.

That and Green-Hair had an insane way of finding food and water.

He'd thought the kid was just really good at it, or that he had a map, but he got suspicious because how could anyone be _that good_ at finding what they needed? For a moment he'd almost thought the other boy wasn't as lost as he was at all, and was a plant or something, but he was surprised to find that it wasn't that.

Green-Hair was in touch with the Force, and after he showed him how to do it, Caleb instantly understood. The sustenance was there, it had always been there, and his new friend was just openhearted and trusting enough to truly believe it would be there whenever he called for it. Caleb was that, but there must've been something different about the way he did it versus how Green-Hair did it because it wasn't nearly as easy for him. He could do this little magic trick too about half the time, but it was almost like the Force had a soft spot for the other boy.

But learning how to summon what he needed opened up a lot of things for him. If the Force was always there for whatever they wanted, then maybe it could do more?

Caleb got an idea, and unable to stop himself, he surprised Green-Hair by scrambling up the next dune because if they could do this with food and water and shelter, then maybe they could summon a speeder. Or a ship. Something that would make the trip faster. Easier. Something that would carry them closer to the mountain quicker than the slow march they were enduring every day.

There was no speeder or ship when they crested the next dune, much to his disappointment, but that hadn't meant there wasn't anything there. Half-buried in the sand were boards of some durable material, rough and grippy on the top with smooth, gently curved bottoms that, while not exactly what he'd meant, still made a bolt of pleasure shoot through him. He'd picked a board out of the sand and dusted it off, studying it. Green-Hair had watched, curiosity in the Force lifting between them.

Then Caleb had placed it on the sand, climbed on top, and used the Force to propel him over the sand. One moment he was beside his companion, the next he was on the next dune over, the rush of speed flooding his blood. He gave a soundless yell of excitement before turning to his friend and waving at him, gesturing for him to do the same.

When Green-Hair tried, he slid down the side of the dune with no momentum and had to jump off before risking toppling over. He watched as his friend took the board and reclimbed the dune, but when he tried to ride it down again it was still as slow as the first time. Why wasn't Green-Hair using the Force to do anything?

Confused, he'd gone to his companion to figure out what was going on, but the boy was too busy pointing at him then up the dune to notice. For a moment Caleb was taken aback. Did he want him to go away?

No, he realized a moment later. The other boy didn't know how he'd done it.

It was almost shocking to realize that despite everything they'd done together that had required the use of the Force, although it was clear Green-Hair could feel it, he didn't know how to use it. And if they were going to cross the desert like this using the boards, he needed to know how to use it at least enough to propel himself. But how was Caleb supposed to teach someone the basics of Force use when he couldn't use words to tell them?

It took the whole day but by the end of it, no matter how much time had been lost in this setback, it was worth it. Instead of having to leave his companion behind because he couldn't keep up, he was able to eventually teach him by using the sand as feedback. With the Force, he'd give it a quick shove and they could see the small crater he'd made. Through the connection he shared how it felt to do the move. A concentration. A mental shove made with a mind of clear focus.

The first time his friend tried it, the sand barely moved.

The second time, Green-Hair surprised himself by making a hole the size of a fist in the sand right before him.

Elated and encouraged by the accomplishment, the third time he gave it everything he had.

Green-Hair blew both himself and Caleb off the dune they'd been practicing on and into a low valley where they'd sputtered sand out of their mouths and stared at each other in disbelief. He could imagine what was going on in his friend's mind because he'd just shot them off a sand dune, but Caleb was floored by how strong he was! He knew other Padawan who couldn't have done with this kid had just done on his third try _ever_ to intentionally use the Force. Who _was_ he? Because he wasn't from the Temple. Caleb knew everyone their age, and he'd definitely have seen a near-human like him and his green hair.

That night he'd watched as his friend kept practicing the move, over and over, learning to control it, and he wondered just who he was, and how he was so strong. How he could've gotten so old without being found by the Order and taken in.

The next day at dawn they stood at the top of the dune with their boards. His companion had mirrored his posture and the Force connection between them had been strong, like a tether. Caleb used the Force and slid to the next dune before stopping and turning to face his friend. It was his turn and he could feel the determination between them. Green-Hair wanted to do it. His companion reached for the Force and slid.

Caleb winced the moment he knew his friend had used too much because he all but launched himself off the next dune to fly through the air and land in a rolling heap on the sand. Using his own board, Caleb was by him in an instant. He checked him over, worried Green-Hair might have hurt himself, but instead he ripped off his mask and a smile and what must have been laughter rolled off of him in soundless waves. Amazement and joy rippled through their bond and Caleb couldn't help but grin.

This time when they tried again, his friend had better control and after an hour they'd finally mastered the board enough to cruise. They were moving faster now, the dunes like waves to surf across and ride, and a tight clench on his heart released. They were finally moving.

He almost jumped off his board out of shock when a blur of red shot past him, headed for the top of the highest sand dune around. Caleb watched as the other boy pushed harder with the Force, built more and more speed. He was going too fast again. He was going to shoot off and fall into the sand again—

Green-Hair did shoot off the dune, but he didn't fall this time. Instead he sailed through the air, grabbing hold of his board and letting gravity take its time dragging him down, riding it. Through their connection, he hadn't felt a hint of fear. Not an instant of doubt.

Amazed, Caleb couldn't stop himself from doing it too, launching himself into the air because it looked like too much fun to pass up. Soon they were leaping through the air on their boards amidst the dunes, bobbing like fish jumping out of the water. It was quickly a game between them, a way to pass the time and break up the monotony, and Caleb had a blast.

As the hours passed, he realized what he most enjoyed was watching his friend. It had taken the other boy some time to get the hang of it, and he still needed a lot of practice. Green-Hair used too much of the Force every time. It was wasteful.

But he'd never seen anyone look as comfortable in the sky as Green-Hair did. He might as well have been a bird because when the other boy was in the air, Caleb felt nothing but elation. Nothing but pure freedom.

Caleb couldn't help but think the boy soared.

* * *

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

(Loud, energetic singing for five hours followed by a short shout and intense laughter)

**< End Log>**

* * *

**< Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

It took me a while to realize it, but Eyebrows has been singing for _hours_. I thought he was just talking to himself, but then he started dancing and shouting, really getting into it. It's weird watching someone sing without being able to hear them, but when you know that's what they're doing, you just _know_.

I had no idea what he was singing, but I couldn't help it, I started singing something too. It was an old song Mom listens to all the time, one she says Dad loved. It’s my favorite song. Soon we were sliding through the sand, each of us pretending to hear the other as we made crazy faces and screamed silent lyrics at the sky. It was so much fun! I mean, I couldn't hear myself — I think he had his recorder on so he could hear himself, but even pretending, we had a blast.

We might have gotten carried away because neither of us was paying attention when he skidded off a high dune that dropped off instead of eased down and we both were airborne for a second. I'm glad my recorder wasn't on because I might have screamed, I just wasn't paying attention and then suddenly we were both rolling through the sand. I was fine, neither of us was hurt, but we both pulled off our masks and his hair was sticking up crazy and it was just so _funny_ I started laughing.

Then he was laughing, and then we were both laughing so hard, and it felt so good to do that. I mean, I couldn't hear my laughter or his, but I could feel it in the Force like it was echoing between us. There was so much amusement and excitement, and I don't remember ever having such a stupid, fun moment before in my life.

I've never had a friend like this before.

I wish I knew his name.

**< End Log>**

_Later that evening._

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

Green-Hair's great. I haven't had so much fun since ... well. I don't know. I've never done anything like this before. Jedi don't _do_ things like this.

But he doesn't know who or what I am. Instead he just joined in singing and then we were doing something fun and stupid that I'm pretty sure Master Windu would've scolded me for.

Is it wrong of me to enjoy this when I know the wars are still happening? When Master Billaba and our clones are still fighting and I have no idea where I am or when I'll make it back to help them?

Is it wrong of me to make a friend like this when I'm supposed to be getting to the mountain?

I probably shouldn't have been singing in the first place, I just couldn't take the quiet, and it wasn't as if he could hear me. It wasn’t supposed to turn into fun. It just … it just _looked_ like we were singing the same thing, and he was into it and I was, and ….

(Audible sigh)

It probably wasn’t even the same song. I’m just reading too much into it.

**< End Log>**

* * *

It was the same song.

* * *

**< Log – Jacen Syndulla>**

You know, I’m really getting the hang of this board! I mean, it’s no speeder, but with the Force? Riding across the sand is like riding across silk. I still can’t believe I’m doing this! _I’m_ using the Force! It _is_ the Force! And I mean, I can’t do a lot with it, but I can shoot myself into the air. I love it! I love it so much.

I can’t wait to show Mom.

(Pause)

(Sigh)

I miss her. I wonder what she’d think about all of this?

I wonder what Dad would think about all of this?

**< End Log>**

* * *

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

I've never seen anyone more comfortable in the sky than he is. He's like a bird or something.

I wonder if, given the chance, he'd ever come down.

How is he like this in the middle of a war? So calm and free?

**< End Log>**

* * *

**< Log – Jacen Syndulla>**

I still don’t understand where the stars are. I look for them every night trying to find even one. One star would be enough, but I never find one. There should be _stars_ here. Honestly, of everything, I think that’s what freaks me out the most about this place. Not the voicelessness. Not the Force. Not Eyebrows.

It’s the stars. _Where are the stars?_

**< End Log>**

* * *

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

Whoa, I didn’t even notice! All this time I thought Green-Hair liked stargazing because he’s _always_ staring at the sky at night, but how could he stargaze? There aren’t any stars in the sky, and there should be. It’s not as if there’s light pollution anywhere around here, this is the middle of the desert. We should be able to practically see the entire galaxy.

Now that I’m talking about it, that’s actually really weird. If there aren’t any stars in the sky, especially if this place is as strong in the Force as it feels, _where are we?_

I wonder if we’ll ever find out.

I bet Master Billaba would know.

I hope I get to ask her.

I hope she’s not too upset that I’ve been gone so long.

I hope the war …

(Heavy sigh)

**< End Log>**

* * *

**Jacen**

They'd been traveling for hours, their Force-driven boards eating mile after mile steadily as they moved together through the dunes, when suddenly everything changed. They crested a massive ravine and twin cliffs rose up out of the sand to flank a golden path downward. A path the Force seemed to entice them down. He and Eyebrows stopped at the top, lingering. This path would take them to the mountain which loomed above them, but they had no idea what was at the end. Jacen wondered if they should follow it.

Eyebrows, on the other hand lifted his mask enough to show a playful grin and a ripple of challenge slipped across their Force connection. Then he yanked his mask down, jumped on top of his board and shot off, and it became clear what he meant to do. A race. He wanted to race down the ravine.

Jacen grinned, excitement tugging at his heart. Eyebrows wanted a race? As the son of the best pilot in the galaxy, Jacen would show him a race. He was on his board and one moment he was gaining momentum, crouching lower, leaning dangerously to gain more speed. But a jump ensured that the next instant he was in the air, a wingless bird soaring above the world.

And he could see everything.

Below Eyebrows moved along the ravine's path with skill and agility in the Force that Jacen hadn't quite learned yet, diving and dodging obstacles in a way that left a trail of sand shooting up behind him. From Jacen’s airborne perspective above, he was able to watch all of this and be amazed by such skill. How long had his friend practiced to be that good? Jacen was barely good enough to ride the board and throw himself in the air, crass displays of strength, but what Eyebrows did was pure finesse.

But finesse wasn't going to help the other boy win.

Jacen dropped through the air, closing the distance between them and landed soft as a feather before gaining speed for his second bout. He'd caught up to Eyebrows's sand trail and was now making one of his own, urging the Force with one hand to keep him going and gaining acceleration while he worked to stay balanced and upright with the other. Elation roared in their connection, bouncing between them back and forth and just as Eyebrows banked hard enough to throw a huge wall of sand at his face, Jacen jumped into the air and his natural element once more, out of reach. His friend couldn't touch him up here, and like this he could see everything. The way ahead was clear, they were almost to the end. He would win, and—

Alarm screamed through him as he gave a soundless, useless cry because what was ahead wasn't more sloping dunes like he'd anticipated. Instead there was a massive hole in the ground, dark and consuming. Unstoppable. Unavoidable.

It didn't matter who won now because they were both about to-they _were_ falling into the hole, the darkness rising up around them before they had any chance of saving themselves. The Force connection between them electrified with activity. Eyebrows tugged at his attention, but Jacen couldn't look at him. He'd been in a ship long enough to know what a crash-landing sequence was like and he knew what was about to happen next. At some point very soon, gravity was going to win, and they were going to hit the ground hard.

The Force yanked at him, and suddenly Eyebrows's hand snatched his wrist. His companion lifted his free hand, pointed it at the rapidly growing ground. The Force built in his palm and suddenly Jacen had a good idea what he meant to do.

Mirroring him, he lifted his own hand and focused. It would be rough, he'd never done this before, but it was like thrusters. If he could time it just right—!

An instant before they would've hit the ground they shoved at the earth with the Force, slowing their descent and obliterating their velocity until they were doing little more than hanging in the air before their control gave out. They flopped into the sand, less of a comet-like impact and more a gentle drop, but it was still shocking all the same. Jacen scrambled to his feet, all but swimming in sand to make sure Eyebrows was okay.

Luckily he appeared to be fine, dusting off sand particles and checking himself over for injuries before checking Jacen too. They were both okay, lucky to get away without even a broken bone, but now that they were down here, darkness unlike anything they'd experienced since arriving curled around them. They stood together in a warm, orange beam of sunlight but beyond there was the vague, shadowy shape of a cavern. Sand rained in steady streams from above, and with a squint he saw that there was a passage in front of them. A tunnel.

The Force tugged at them, promising the way.

He caught Eyebrows glancing around, glancing up as if considering trying to get back out the way they’d come in, but there was no way. Even with Jacen’s ability to shoot himself into the air, he wasn't that strong, and he didn't think his friend had any clever tricks up his sleeve.

Still, he waited to see if he was wrong. When Eyebrows didn't do anything, the answer about what they should do next became clear.

They stared up at the hole they'd fallen into, so far above it was little more than distant light, and then, with nowhere else to go, they turned to the dark mouth of the tunnel and pressed on.

* * *

**< Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

I'm glad he can't hear me say this, but I was pretty sure we were going to die.

**< End Log>**

* * *

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

It's a good thing he can't hear me say this, but I can't believe we're still alive.

**< End Log>**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we've left the sun and open skies of the desert for a mysterious tunnel in the darkness! Should be exciting to see what happens next, right?
> 
> You can follow me on [my tumblr](https://okadiah.tumblr.com/) for general story updates, thoughts, and many, many Star Wars related reblogs. Until next time!


	5. The Passage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter, slower chapter, but not an uninteresting one, I think.
> 
> Enjoy!

**< Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

I don't know how long we've been down here, but it feels like it's been a long time.

There's not much light, and we fell too far from the sun to even see sunlight. The only light we have are these torches that line the tunnels, but even those are spaced so far between that it almost seems like we're moving from one faint pool of light to the next because there's nothing else to guide us. I mean, there's the Force, but down here ... I don't know. It's strange. It's there, just like it's been there since the first day, but it's also like the Force has pulled back. Up in the desert, it was close, but down here?

It's like it's backed off.

I'm glad for my friend. I don't know what I'd do without his company here.

It's only because of the pull of the Force and the fact that there's no way out of this massive hole we dropped into that we're going deeper at all. Frankly, the tunnels ahead look like everything Mom always told me to avoid. Who knows what's down here? It could be anything, and with the way the Force is acting, it makes me a little nervous.

But Eyebrows? If he's nervous about all of this, he's not showing it. He's aware of everything, always shifting around and looking everywhere, keeping to the edges of the room like he's expecting an attack, but I never sense anything in the Force besides his calm certainty. I mean, I grew up during the civil war. I know what it's like to be aware of everything from a young age, but I've never seen anyone like him before. I accidentally stepped on a stick and snapped it. The sound echoed loudly and he was ready to attack.

As always, I wonder who he is and what he's been through. After so long, we've managed to develop our own short language of snapping and gestures and looks, and it works for all the basic stuff. But the bigger stuff? The stories that have made him? Those are all I want to ask him every night before I fall asleep. Who _is_ he? I want to know so bad that sometimes when it's his turn to take the lead, for hours I ask him who he is, hoping that he'll finally hear me.

That's kind of weird, isn't it? But it's true. This whole place is one big mystery, but somehow I can't help but think that he's the biggest mystery of all. Why him? Why in the entire desert did we run into each other, both of us heading to the same place, the Force a tether between us?

I don't know. If there's one thing I have learned, it's how much I don't know about anything, least of all the Force. If he wasn't here, I would probably still be trudging slowly through the sand, miles and miles behind where we are now. I wouldn't know anything, not that I knew very much in the first place.

But I can feel now, and I can Force push and pull really well. I showed him how to Force throw the other day, actually. It was something I'd seen in the old holos Chopper would show me sometimes, of Dad and Ezra throwing each other with the Force. There are a lot of high cliffs here, and chasms that we can't cross or access without the Force. Rather than backtrack and waste time, I guess I got a little fed up and, well, _threw_ him. I'd been practicing here and there with rocks, and after all the time we've spent sand-surfing I knew I could handle throwing a body — I throw myself all the time, and I'm a little heavier than he is.

And _maybe_ it was just fun to throw him.

It worked though — even if he seemed a little pissed — but soon I got him to try it with me, and when that worked, it was a new game to play, just throwing each other. I mean, we're always careful, and we use the Force to correct trajectories or make up for any short throws, but honestly? It's just fun.

I'm having a lot of fun with him, isn't that weird? We're trapped in this unending tunnel deep underground where any day we could accidentally kill ourselves. We should be more careful. We should be more serious. We should be so many things, I think.

But instead, we're having a good time, and the days kind of all blur together now. And it's not like with Mom, or Uncles Zeb and Kallus, or on the _Ghost_ and flying, or really any time else. I've had fun, sure. There are great memories I've had that I wouldn't ever trade away. But here now, with the Force. With him?

I don't think I've ever had fun like this before, not in all of my life. And I really can't think of anyone else I'd want to do this with. I mean, I miss everyone. Every day I miss Mom and the others because it's been so long now, she has to be terrified about what's happened to me, and I don't want her to worry. But this time away, on my own with another kid my age, the Force … it's been great. I really can't think of anyone else I'd rather be here with, doing this with.

(Pause)

Well ... that's a lie. I love Eyebrows like family after everything we've been through, but I'd trade it all in a heartbeat if I could do this instead with my dad. It's hard enough that sometimes, in the darkness, I think I see someone. I think it's the same person I saw that morning after I met Eyebrows, but every time I blink, he's gone, and I just ...

(Heavy sigh)

**< End Log>**

_Later._

**< Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

Oh! Also, I didn't want to leave this off the record, but I think Eyebrows hates the fact that it's easier for me to throw him than it is for him to throw me. I feel it every day, he's trying to one-up me by throwing further and harder.

It's kind of nice being better in the Force at something than he is.

I try not to rub it in too much.

I know I can throw him twice as far as I do, even if I won't.

But I totally can.

**< End Log>**

* * *

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

I'd thought the desert was bad, but I realize now that there was freedom up above. We could go anywhere, do anything. The mountain was always in sight and while, yeah, the sun and the sand were awful, the sky was above us and we could see where we were going. There was space to move. We didn't feel confined. Or at least, I didn't.

Now though, in these long, dark tunnels, it's almost so tomb-like it's eerie. I've never experienced anything like this before. In the month since we've been here traveling, we've never once been bothered or attacked. There was an occasional red-cloaked figure in the distance, and that Jedi Knight early on of course, but nothing's tried to hurt us, so nothing should try now.

Why, then, does it feel like here below the surface is where we're most at danger?

We're not, at least, I don't think we are. My friend and I take turns in the lead, weathering the long hours between the lanterns that barely light the way. I don't exactly trust the dark because in this Force-dense place, I'm not always sure the Force is going to tell us everything we need to know, and I just can't help but be on guard. Green-Hair is cautious, but not nearly as much as I am. Sometimes in the dark I think I hear the sound of droideka, but there's never anything and I don't know if it's just my mind playing tricks on me or not. Sometimes I think I hear footsteps that aren't ours, and I wonder if there's someone else down here with us. I wonder if it's that Jedi I thought I hallucinated because, honestly? I'm not sure.

Every day I think I understand this place a little more. Every day the Force shows me just how little I know. And I mean, I get it, it was only a few months ago that I was an Initiate. I'd rarely ever left the Temple for crying out loud and I know that what I know about the Force is nothing compared to what a real Master would know. I know that, and still I'm always surprised.

But he surprises me more than anything.

For all the things I’ve taught him about the Force, Green-Hair surprised me a few days ago by showing me something I didn't know. I mean, like I said earlier, there's a lot about the Force I don't know. But this was something else, and in retrospect it makes sense once you think about it, but I'd never have thought of it on my own if I was at the Temple. And definitely not with Master Billaba.

My friend taught me how to Force throw someone. He taught me by throwing _me_.

When he tried to get me to understand, I thought he was nuts because there was this giant crevice we were trying to move around and there wasn't another path across. I thought it might be better to double back, but then he just — this is crazy just talking about it — he just _grabbed_ me with the Force and _threw_ me. If I'd been able to scream I probably would have because I wasn't expecting it at all. One moment my feet were on the ground, the next I was pretty sure I was about to die.

But even before I realized I could've used the Force to save myself, I was already on the other side. He'd waved to me, jumping like a crazy person – like he'd just done something wizard – but I spent the next minute screaming at him because come _on_? What if he'd killed me? What if he'd accidentally thrown me into an even deeper hole, and what then? Yeah, sure, I was alive, but he'd kriffing _thrown_ me. Who does that?

I couldn't be angry when he smiled at me and then motioned for me to do the same for him. I kind of just ... I don't know. I stopped thinking because there was this giant crevice that I'm pretty sure would lead to our deaths if we fell into it and I was safe, and he couldn't get over and he just ... believed I could do it. I wonder what he'd have thought if I'd told him I'd never done anything like that before. People are heavy, and I've never thought of throwing one. Droids, sure. But people? What if you dropped them? What if, in this case, I didn't pull or throw him hard enough to make the distance?

I tried to show him that it was a bad idea. That if he could throw me, he could definitely Force leap. But he either didn't realize what I meant or didn't know how, didn't want to — who knew? — but he just kept waiting for me. I couldn't believe it.

He trusted me. Trusts me.

I don't think anyone's ever trusted me like that before. He didn't even blink when I pulled him over — it was like we did this all the time. I couldn't even be angry at him when we were both on the same side because I'd learned one of the coolest things I've ever learned, and it was fun. We do it all the time now, just throwing each other onto ledges or across big holes. I've taught him how to Force jump too, and that was payback because Green-Hair looked nervous for the first time, though I would've caught him if he fell.

But he didn't fall. We don't let each other fall.

And I can't imagine doing anything like this with anyone else. I mean, I don't know a whole lot of people who could do it. I mean, I think Master Billaba and I would do great here together, but there's something about the kid and the fact that we're kind of at the same stage, working our way through all of this that feels ... right. I don't have to be worried I'm doing something stupid, and neither does he. We're just learning together, having fun together. Watching each other's backs.

I know I'm a Jedi and I'm not supposed to have them, but he's kind of my best friend. I'm glad I'm going through this with him. I mean, I'd do it alone if I had to, but I'm glad I'm not down here doing this alone. I mean, I would, of course I would. I'm a Jedi. We don't bend to fear.

But I'm glad my friend is here. Isn't that weird? I don't know a thing about him besides what I've seen here, but I trust him more than I've trusted a lot of people. Besides Master Billaba, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be stuck with down here.

I hope one day I'll be able to tell him that.

**< End Log>**

_Later._

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

How is he so _strong_? I know he's holding back, I can feel it, but seriously! Is he secretly a Force-weightlifter in his spare time? It's insane. He didn't even know how to use the Force when I met him, and now? I can't believe—

(Complaining proceeds for the next hour)

**< End Log>**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so hard not to rapid-fire post all the chapters now because we've passed the halfway mark and things are about to change in a very exciting way~ I'm so excited, you have no idea.
> 
> You can follow me on [my tumblr](https://okadiah.tumblr.com/) for general story updates, thoughts, and many, many Star Wars related reblogs. Until next time!


	6. The Split

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've all had a good week and are ready for the chapter! Things are about to change~
> 
> Enjoy!

**Jacen**

When Jacen woke up this morning, he knew something was going to be different about today. What it was, he wasn't sure, but he knew.

It didn't matter that the day had progressed as it always did in the darkness, with them moving steadily along the path, helping each other through hurdles and obstacles, snapping and clapping to keep track and keep company. Today more than ever he stuck close to his friend. Whatever this was, he felt uneasy. A bad feeling, like something was coming and things were about to change.

He must've been projecting his feelings in the Force or his friend felt it too because Eyebrows kept glancing his way, and although the mask was there to hide his face, Jacen could guess at the questioning lift of an eyebrow. He'd tilt his head slightly and Jacen could do little more than wave the question off. How could he say he felt uneasy without having a good reason for it? Nothing was different. Everything was the same.

That was, until the dark tunnel opened into a massive cavern filled with blinding white light, more than he'd been prepared for. He staggered back, his friend catching him by the shoulder before peering around him. Jacen blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the brightness after so much dark, and when he did, he realized it was coming in from high above. It was moonlight, and the way it filtered down and hit the sand below like a spotlight caused the pale glow to intensify and radiate.

For the first time in what felt like days, they could see more than just down the way. The entire room was visible, only faintly shadowed at the edges, and amazed they crept in. It was beautiful here. There were glyphs on the walls, things he didn't quite understand, but what floored him was how fathomless the Force felt here.

It was like they were in a well, right at the bottom where the Force was thick and strong. It made his heart ache, and as they adventured further into the room, he found himself drawn to the beam of moonlight, pulling off his hood and mask as he went. Unable to stop himself, he turned his head up and stared longingly toward the moon and the sky beyond. It was beautiful and quiet, pure, and his heart was moved beyond words. He'd never experienced a moment as utterly sublime as this.

When he opened his eyes, he found that his friend was there too, doing the same, a smile on his lips like he felt it too. Like the Force here was curling within them, filling their hearts in a way it hadn't before. They'd seen some incredible things together, but there was something about this that was just, well, everything was wordless here, but he couldn't possibly have described this. He would've been speechless if he'd had words. He could see it the same in his friend’s eyes.

And then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flicker of motion.

Beyond the light there was darkness again as the path beyond split left and right, but there was something in the right-side path, _someone_ , and the Force snapped within him like a cord pulled taut. The figure was back again, the man with the ponytail. He was there, draped in shadows, but he was _there again_ , looking at him.

With a lift of a hand, he motioned Jacen to follow, and he knew that it was the only path he could take. It was the one that would lead him toward the mountain. The one that would lead him toward the answers he was only now realizing he'd spent the whole journey so far building up to. If he continued, he _had_ to take the right-side path.

Jacen blindly reached for his friend's wrist just as a questing hand snatched at his own, and together they moved. His friend must've seen him too. They had to go, they had to go right now before he vanished and—

Their grips snagged, pulled in opposite directions.

Startled Jacen whipped around and found Eyebrows doing the same, a bewildered look of disbelief on his face. His friend lifted his hand, pointing desperately down the left-hand path, but alarmed, Jacen shook his head and pulled right. They needed to go _right_ , there was no doubt in his mind about this. The correct path was the right path. The left path felt desert hot to his Force sense. It felt like going back, and that was the last thing they needed. If they went left, all this work would've been for nothing. They had to go _right_.

But just as insistent as he was to go right, his friend was to go left. He let Jacen go, gesturing again and again left, but Jacen found himself shaking his head because _no_. That was _wrong_. It was in the Force, clear as day, Eyebrows _had_ to see that.

Desperate, Jacen glanced into the right-hand tunnel and was dismayed to find the man gone. If Jacen wanted to catch up to him, he had to leave and he had to leave now, but he didn't want to go without his friend. They'd come so far together, gone through so much.

It seemed the other boy was just as reluctant to leave without him and he kept trying to convince him to go left, kept pointing and insisting that that was the way. And Jacen, for one weak moment, let his feet pull that way for the sake of his friend.

The Force balked, and before he could make one more step forward he’d already scrambled back, shooting into the neutral ground of the moonbeam at the center of the room. He knew if his friend went that way he would not follow. He couldn't. Not when the Force was like that, and his reaction caused Eyebrows eyes to widen. He couldn't understand and a flash of anger shot through Jacen.

What was the boy doing? They'd come all this way and now, here at what felt like a final crossroads when they should be moving further in, his best friend was looking back. All of this time they'd been united and together on everything, but the way ahead was clear. The right-side tunnel with its deeper darkness was stronger in the Force than the left-side tunnel with its brighter promise of the desert and a way back to what was safe and known. Why now, of all times? How come his friend's heart was faltering _now_?

Jacen pleaded with his eyes and hands. They were on the same path, he just had to get the other boy to see that. But Eyebrows only gestured toward the left-side, eyes just as pleading, and there was a resoluteness in the Force. It sat like a wedge between them, and Jacen knew that this was it. Both were set in their decisions and they were going their separate ways.

It hurt.

But Jacen glanced away from his friend's intense blue eyes and took a step back to make his intention clear, and the hurt he felt inside flashed across the other boy's face. He couldn't leave it like this though, this choice the final thing between them. If they were splitting up, it was likely they wouldn't see each other again. Jacen was heading toward the mountain and Eyebrows back toward the desert. Whatever was waiting him at the mountain would undoubtedly lead him further from his friend.

He wanted to at least say goodbye.

With bittersweet hope in his chest, he snapped his fingers in the same way he had every time he wanted to get Eyebrows’s attention, but the boy only clenched his fists, shook his head, and turned away. Realization dawned on Jacen, and alarmed, he snapped his fingers again, faster and a little harder. They couldn't leave it like this, not after almost a month together relying on each other. Not this way.

But Eyebrows was set and with his back turned to Jacen, he moved resolutely away, determination and hurt solidifying in the Force. Not once did he look back, and soon the soft sounds of his footsteps grew fainter and fainter before they were gone all together like an imagined echo that might never have been real at all.

And soon Jacen stood by himself, bathed in a pool of the strongest, purest moonlight he'd ever experienced in his life. It bleached the sand around him white. It left him feeling seen and real.

Even if it only served to highlight how alone he now was.

* * *

**Caleb**

Caleb felt good about today, though he couldn't really say why. Maybe it was the Force, maybe it was just a really good night's sleep, but when they were up and ready to go, he found he had more energy than usual. Whatever they encountered today, he felt sure they could handle it. There was so much they'd already worked through together that they had to be close to the end of the tunnel. The base of the mountain had to be closer than that, it had to be.

But as they moved, he noticed that the good spirits he felt weren't matched by his friend. Green-Hair kept glancing around as if waiting for something, and in the Force he radiated unease. More than anything he wished they could speak so he could ask what was wrong, but when he tilted his head in the way he did to ask a question, his companion had only shaken his head in response. It must've been nothing, and if it had been something, he lost all sense of concern when they rounded a corner and came upon a new room.

It was filled with light.

At first it had startled him with how quickly Green-Hair had stumbled back, momentarily blinded, but Caleb caught and steadied him long enough to see what was beyond.

And it was beautiful.

They'd both entered, exploring the room and for the first time since he'd woken up in this strange place, he saw something familiar. Glyphs. Old Jedi glyphs that were impossible to make out but clearly stuff of the Force. He'd seen such images in the Temple growing up, surrounded by their likeness, and now they were here. All this time the Force was so strong here because, he was starting to suspect, this place – this entire desert even – might be something way more than he thought. Not a place like he'd thought. With glyphs like these all around, the reality of what was happening slammed into him.

This was a _temple_. A temple in the Force.

All his life in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, he'd heard the older Jedi speak about such temples. Places that tested and judged. Places where the Force was strongest. Where, if one wasn't careful, they could become lost forever and die. Of course they always told him to be wary of such places and he was, he really was. But he never thought he'd get to see a place like this, not for a long time if ever. Sure, he'd been to Ilum to get his kyber crystal, and that had been a strange place too, but not like this.

This wasn't Ilum. This wasn't the Jedi Temple. This ... this was something else. Something otherworldly, and stronger than anything he'd ever experienced.

And never in his life had he felt more at peace.

He glanced over to see that Green-Hair had taken off his mask and was now basking in the moonlight, the light bleaching him white and otherworldly and his heart moved for his friend. Not in any sort of romantic way, but the way he felt for his friend was filled with so much tenderness that it nearly brought him to tears. All he could do was take off his mask too and do what Green-Hair did, and feel just a little closer to this one, special person. The Force was so strong now, here in this place, in the connection between them. He couldn't imagine it any other way. He couldn't imagine sharing this with anyone else.

A sound snatched at his attention and beyond the light he saw that there was a split in the path which led left and right, and in the left he saw the Jedi Knight, the closest he'd seen him. As a matter of fact, he'd stopped to glance over his shoulder, and like this he could see something new, a scar over the bridge of his nose, across his eyes. Color-less eyes held his, and he gestured for Caleb to follow. At that moment, the Force snapped to attention, telling him with pure certainty.

The left path. He had to go that way if he was to keep going forward. That way he'd find the mountain. That way the kyber in his lightsaber sang. That way he would find and meet the Jedi he kept seeing. _That was the way_.

Overwhelmed with surety, he blindly reached for his friend and was surprised to find fingers already reaching for his. Enlivened, Caleb surged forward. Green-Hair must've seen him too, that was the only thing that made sense. If they hurried now, they'd be able to catch up to the Jedi Knight, he was right there—!

They tugged at each other so hard that he almost lost his grip, and it was then that he realized they were going in opposite directions.

Startled, Caleb gaped, bewildered, but his friend was gesturing frantically to the right-side path, and when he looked at it, all he could sense was the warm, dry plains of the desert. Of an intense sense of going backward when all this time they'd been struggling day after day to go forward, always forward. Caleb shook his head because he knew that wasn't the way. If they went that way, they would never make it to the mountain. It was the wrong path, but the left-path was the correct one. He had to see that!

A glance back showed that the Jedi wasn't there anymore, but if they hurried, he was sure they'd catch up. That's all they needed to do. Go down the left path, catch up to the knight and they would be headed toward the mountain. The Force all but promised that, he just had to go _left_.

To his relief, anguish fell across his friend’s face and slowly Green-Hair began moving toward him. Caleb could all but scream with happiness because _yes_ , he was doing it! They would go together after all.

But almost as quickly as his friend put his foot down, he backed off — no. Green-Hair practically darted away from the left path as if it might kill him, and the look he saw on Green-Hair's face where he stood in the moonlight left no doubt in his mind.

He would not come with him.

Dismay swelled in Caleb. How could they get this far together, spend practically a month on this journey helping and deciding everything together, only to get this far and be so unreasonably divided?

He tried again, one last time and pointed to the obvious path, the one that led in deeper where the Force was strongest, the left-side. It was the way. He had to see that. His best friend _had_ to see that.

But slowly the boy's face fell before he glanced down with a soundless sigh and took half a step back, and Caleb knew there was no way he could bridge this gap and convince Green-Hair otherwise. They'd hit a crossroad, and now, after everything, they were being divided.

It felt so much like betrayal.

Green-Hair snapped his fingers gently, trying to get his attention, but Caleb only shook his head before turning away to face the dark tunnel and leave his former companion to go back to the desert. The snaps came again, two of them and faster, more persistent. In the Force he could feel the boy reaching out to him, but Caleb ignored it with a small wave of his hand in farewell. They were going their separate ways now and he wasn't going to drag this out.

Besides, he had a war to get back to. His master was waiting for him, and all of this? All the fun he'd had with his new friend? It had distracted him from his true goal. Getting back.

Now, even as his chest tightened and he had to force his feet to move, he could finally get back to what he should've been doing all along. He moved into the left-side tunnel and further into darkness and resolved not to look back.

* * *

**< Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

He left.

I guess ... well, it was ... fun while it lasted.

(Long pause)

(Sigh)

I hope he'll be okay.

**< End Log>**

* * *

**Jacen**

Giving the left path one final longing glance, Jacen sighed one last time and turned away before entering the deeper darkness of the right-hand path and the way to the mountain.

* * *

**Caleb**

No matter what he'd told himself he’d do, Caleb couldn't stop himself from glancing back now that he was deeper into his tunnel. He hoped more than anything that Green-Hair had changed his mind. That he'd follow. From here he could still make out his friend's form in the moonlight.

But when his friend moved, it wasn't to follow him. Soon he was gone from sight, choice made, and with a heavy heart, Caleb made his feet take him away.

* * *

**< Log - Caleb Dume>**

Why couldn't he have just trusted me? We both wanted to go to the mountain, this was the way. How come he couldn't see that? How come he just ... just wouldn't listen?

(A heavy sigh)

I guess it doesn't matter. It's better this way. I've got to get back to Master Billaba and everyone. That's all that matters. I've wasted so much time already.

(Pause)

(Sigh)

I hope he'll be okay.

**< End Log>**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys have split up! The fun couldn't last forever after all, and I hope you're excited for what's to come :]
> 
> You can follow me on [my tumblr](https://okadiah.tumblr.com/) for general story updates, thoughts, and many, many Star Wars related reblogs. Until next time!


	7. The Struggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An actiony chapter! We're getting close to the end, like whoa, I'll have given you all the story in two more weeks (right about the time the final season of The Clone Wars will be closing up and *maybe* I planned that out for a reason~) Craziness.
> 
> Anyway, here's the next chapter and I hope you enjoy!

**Jacen**

Jacen focused on the way ahead and not behind or lost friends because there was no way now but forward, and he sensed in a primal way that the end would be soon.

Not long after he'd entered his tunnel the temperature began dropping, but for the day he traveled alone, it wasn't completely unbearable. After the warmth of the desert and the steady temperatures of the underground passage, this new chill was practically refreshing. His cloak as always did a lot to keep him comfortable, so it wasn't a problem. But when he woke up the day after, alone and in the silence, he'd found the temperature had dropped again, drastically, and an hour later he understood why.

The tunnel he'd been traveling in opened to the base of the mountain, and it was covered in snow.

In the snow, for the first time since taking his path, he saw footprints. Not fresh, but they were there, and they were proof. He was catching up to the man, and that gave him the energy he needed to abandon the safety and warmth of the tunnel and venture forth toward his goal. The light at the top of the mountain was closer than ever. He just had to push one more time.

Jacen only wished he wasn't doing it alone.

Throwing himself forward, moving through the snow was infinitely easier than trudging through the sand. At first. But as he moved further on, the snowdrifts grew soft and deep and with every step he sunk thigh deep and hoped he wouldn't fall all the way through. Jacen began focusing on the Force, using it to help him find the right way, the best way. Soon he was able to avoid the deepest of drifts with growing frequency, and invisible drop-offs that would've sent him tumbling back where he'd started. Or worse.

As impressive as the outfit he'd depended on for the last month had been in the deep heat and nighttime cold of the desert, it was showing its weakness now in the blizzard he pressed into step by step. He was cold and growing colder as he went on and on, ice forming on his cloak and his fingers growing stiff as he struggled to keep them warm. His feet were little better, but the constant motion helped to keep him warm and going.

His breaks were frequent, despite how close he was to his goal. Just like in the desert, every time he was in need a solution presented itself if he desired it. When he was certain the cold would become too much, all he had to do was look around and he'd find a cavern in the mountain passes he hadn't noticed before, and inside would be a fire. He'd warm himself and prepare for the cold again and do this over and over. It was slow going.

But all he could think about every time he stopped for the fire and warmth was his friend. Was Eyebrows okay? He wasn't as good at letting the Force provide for him as Jacen was, and frequently he'd let Jacen find their food and water and shelter. Would he be okay on his own?

He didn't know. He knew he'd likely never know, and Jacen struggled not to think when it was all that sat in his mind in those quiet spaces of waiting.

Jacen grew more concerned, however, when the higher he climbed the harder it became to find these pools of reviving warmth. Toward the bottom they were there whenever he needed them, but with growing frequency it would be long, long minutes, sometimes an hour, before he found his next refuge. What if, as he went higher, there wouldn't be one? How would he make it in this cold to his goal? The Force was insistent about the way, it never changed or deviated. Sometimes when he wasn't paying attention, he saw a figure up ahead fighting the blizzard as well, and he knew he had to keep going.

If his mother had known what he was doing, he knew she'd have scolded him for not waiting the blizzard out. That was the smart thing to do. He might kill himself like this, and he understood the reason in her imagined words. Under different circumstances — normal circumstances under a sky that had stars — he'd never have done something as stupid as this.

But the Force, it tugged at him, dragged him ever onward. He could get through the blizzard. He knew he could. He just had to keep going. His heart had to be stronger.

The last stretch between the warm points had been almost longer than he could bear. By the time he'd all but tumbled into the cave where the small fire did its best to warm him, he was so cold he'd considered falling asleep right there, even if every instinct insisted that doing so meant he'd never wake up again. Warming his fingers had felt like burning them, and he shook so hard he was afraid his clattering teeth would accidentally snap through his tongue. Not that he was very sure he'd feel it if they did.

Eyeing the storm outside, the icy gale that would snatch away what little heat he had, he didn't want to go back out. As a matter of fact, it was the last thing he wanted, and he felt so stupid and so alone, huddled mid-way up a mountain in a blizzard. What if he couldn't do this? What if the Force was wrong? What if he'd been wrong and hadn’t understood the Force as well as he'd thought. What if it was leading him to his death? He was still so new at this, the Force could literally mean anything. He could be completely wrong about everything. Every single thing.

Bitter with himself, Jacen pressed his brow to his knees and wondered what his friend would’ve done. He was so much _better_ at this than Jacen was, so sure. Jacen had no doubt that if Eyebrows had been on the mountain with him, he'd know what to do. He'd know if this was really all a death-trap. He'd know for sure if they should go on or not.

More than that, he missed him. Jacen just missed him.

That was when the wind screamed louder, drawing his gaze warily upward. The snow flashed white and terrible as it passed the safe opening of his refuge, promising to rip at exposed flesh, but with the way the light showed stronger than the snowstorm, Jacen could make out the face of the mountain. Just beyond was a steep cliff he'd have to be careful of if he wanted to make it over the ridge above. One wrong step would send him falling to his death. All it would take was one powerful gale at a moment when he wasn't aware, and that would be that. He could only stare out and feel his chest tighten with fear and avoidance. He didn't want to go out in that.

Jacen's breath lodged in his chest and he surged to his still-numb feet as the snow cleared for the briefest moment to reveal more of what it had hidden. The most important thing of all.

There was someone up ahead, someone struggling in the snow just as much as he was. They were moving valiantly, and for a moment Jacen thought it was him. The man he kept seeing. The man he kept hoping with all his heart, as impossible as it was, that he would _finally_ find.

But as the wind shifted again, he saw the flash of fabric, stark against the winter landscape no matter how frosted over it had become, less rich red but familiar all the same. The Force connection between them snapped to life and with a torn half-grimace half-grin, Jacen realized it was him. Eyebrows! He was here in the snow with him. Somehow he'd found his way here despite taking the incorrect path.

And his friend, he realized with dread, he was struggling.

Just like in the desert when they'd first met, his friend was pushing forward with everything he had, ignoring the needs of his body and the rigors of the world. But as Jacen peeked out from his hiding place, he saw that the wind was shoving his friend brutally, bitterly. It was relentless, and he was being forced back.

Jacen's heart froze colder than the ice around him when he saw that what existed behind his friend wasn't more snow, but the cliff. Like this, he would fall. He would die.

Jacen was moving before he had time to think, throwing everything he had into crossing the distance between them and saving his best friend, even if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

**Caleb**

Caleb had stubbornly refused to do anything other than focus on moving ahead one step at a time, controlling his thoughts and emotions like a Jedi was supposed to do. Not think at all about boys with green hair or how much he missed them. His way lay ahead, following the Jedi Knight to the top of the mountain, to the light. He'd had fun with his friend, but it was over now.

And there was snow to deal with.

The change was so sudden that one moment he was stepping in soft sand and the next the unmistakable crunch of snow under his feet tore him from his brooding thoughts just in time for his mask to get smacked with a short flurry of ice shards. The air was cold now, and he had no idea when that had happened, and he'd shivered. He wondered if he was prepared for this. Green-Hair had always been better at finding what they needed, even if he'd taught him how to do it himself. And using the same method, it did work. Whenever he needed something, the Force provided. When he was cold, it provided a fire for warmth. Shelter from the wind.

But he had to wonder if it would've done more for the other boy than it did for him.

Caleb did his best to ignore the empty space beside him that had been occupied for a month by a calm and steady presence he hadn't realized he'd grown so used to and depended on. More than once he clapped and turned to get his friend’s attention, but he wasn't there. Green-Hair had chosen the other path, the path away, and now Caleb finished this journey alone, save for the footsteps in the snow leading ahead, the Jedi leading the way.

Even with the occasional warmth, the struggle up the mountain was maybe the worst thing he'd ever attempted to do in his life, a struggle not against droideka or himself, but against nature. The blizzard was ruthless, and it was only his focus and trust in the Force that drove him. He didn't let himself think about warmth. About stopping. The way ahead was clear in the Force. He had to keep climbing.

His single-mindedness, however, had maybe pushed him further than he should have gone because one moment he was making steady progress, and the next the wind turned violent. It tore at his cloak, yanking him back and ignoring his pressure in the Force as if it was nothing at all, and to make matters worse? He'd trapped himself in between a cliff and the next ridge, the one that would lead him to the light.

And no matter how hard he struggled to make it to the ridge, every step taken was a step lost, and he was close to the edge of the cliff.

His feet slipped and panic shot through him sharper than the icy wind. The ledge was right there and without traction, he was going to slip over it and then what? He'd die, this would all have been for nothing, he wouldn't make it back to the war, his troops, his master. Caleb might never see his green-haired friend again.

And somehow, that hurt more than anything.

Frantically he dug his feet into the ground, and by the grace of the Force, one of his feet managed to snag on a buried stone, giving him a few more precious seconds before the wind won and threw him to his doom. He needed to overcome it somehow, just a little bit more of a push and he could make it. He _could_.

But the moment of traction he'd had was gone as the wind shifted just right, and he was sliding back, sliding fast, arms pinwheeling. He grabbed at the sky, stretched a hand toward the light at the top of the mountain as if it would save him from what was about to happen. He'd been _so close_ , risked so much, lost the best friend he had just to get this far, and now it was all for nothing. Caleb was falling again, only this time he was falling alone.

And then he wasn't.

The Force roared around him, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of movement. For a bright, unbelievable second he thought it was the Jedi Knight. That somehow, he'd found him and had come to save him. But it wasn't Jedi brown he saw but familiar red, and his heart leaped higher as the connection between them snapped to life and he _knew who this was_. It was him! Green-Hair!

The reality that he was here now, running toward him, both about to fall over a cliff to their deaths, hurt worse than anything so far. His friend, Caleb didn't know how but he was here, he'd come after him. He was coming to _save_ him.

But there was no way to save him, not this close to the cliff. Not with the wind beating ruthlessly at them, and him already sliding back toward his doom. His friend wouldn't make it, but Caleb didn't want to give up, not yet. His friend was right _there_ , his arm outstretched.

Their fingers brushed and his hope died when their hands missed.

Caleb felt the edge of the cliff pass below his feet, the snow he was on a wave throwing him into the air. He watched his friend, and although their masks concealed their eyes, he was sure they were seeing each other. The Force bond between them grew taunt and for one brilliant moment, it was like he could see and feel everything. It all made sense. Why they were together, why they complimented each other, why this boy was so familiar—

Caleb stretched his hand out further, reaching not with his hand but with the Force.

And his friend reached back.

Impossibly Green-Hair had caught him midair with the Force while also holding off the wind, one hand stretched out to him while the other fought the storm. The sheer strength required to do something like that was breathtaking, and the raw power of it was enough to shatter Caleb's concentration.

What he'd known slipped away, forgotten.

He watched as Green-Hair struggled between the storm and keeping Caleb safe, and the sight of him like that snapped him out of his stupor and spurred him into action. Using the Force he reached for his friend and wrenched himself forward, diving back toward safety to shove against Green-Hair’s back. Without the need to hold him aloft anymore Green-Hair used both hands to shove against the wind, a Force shield developing in front of them, but it was rough and uneven. The wind was catching in the invisible cracks and as strong as the shield was, it was unrefined and wouldn't hold.

Caleb didn't think. He only lifted his hands and began working around the other boy's work, smoothing here, tightening there, bringing the shield into a shape that the wind had less of a handle on. It began sliding around the sides, easing up, and suddenly a break in the storm caused the wind to lift entirely. The snow parted and Caleb saw something ahead, a stone pillar just wide enough for them to hide behind before the wind picked up again.

He snagged Green-Hair’s arm and shot forward, trudging as fast as he could through the drifts. Just as the wind began to scream again, they were there behind the safety of the pillar.

Protected for the moment, Caleb could only stare at the other boy as if he was another mirage, but he wasn't. He was right there, and although he couldn't see his face, he knew it was him if only by the Force bond between them. It raged with relief and familiarity. With hope and fear and pain and something so real and tender it tore at his heart and made him clench at the other boy's arm.

But Green-Hair wasn't having that. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Caleb and embraced him tightly, his slightly bigger body all but engulfing Caleb in what little warmth he had to share. Never in Caleb’s life had someone cared so much about him. Master Billaba and the clones cared, sure. The Temple and the other Masters, the Order, they all cared. But not like this.

Not like his existence mattered more than the fact that he was a Jedi and a keeper of the peace, or a warrior for the Republic. Like he mattered more than his ability to use the Force.

Like he just … mattered.

The other boy slowly let him go and it was all Caleb could do not to yank him back, but Green-Hair was sending impressions through their bond again, vague sensations that reminded him too much of their close call before ending with what felt like a question. It was so bitingly cold that it was becoming difficult to think and it took Caleb longer than he liked to piece it all together, but eventually he did.

His companion wanted to know what he thought of them working together like they just had to get up and over the ridge. He wanted to know if Caleb thought they could do it. There was only one answer because the reality was that there was no other alternative. They were trapped like this, protected by this lone spire of stone and probably not for long. If they didn't move, they'd freeze to death, and if they did anything other than work together, they would be swept off the mountain. They had to do this.

But more than that, he thought they _could_ do it.

Snagging his friend's forearm in his hand and feeling him do the same to him, they turned to face the storm. The wind howled and the snow flew past like tiny razors, but Caleb wasn't focusing on that. Not this time. Instead he felt with the Force, sensed the surges of the storm. He closed his eyes and waited for the right moment.

Caleb didn't need to signal the moment the wind lessened enough for them to advance; Green-Hair was already moving in time with him as if he'd been reading the storm too. They rushed forward, trying to gain as much ground as they could before the next assault, and it was coming. An instant before it hit, he squeezed his friend's arm tight enough to bruise. Green-Hair's free hand shot forward, the strength of his Force shield unyielding right as the wind slammed into it. Caleb's free hand darted forward, smoothing the shield, reigning in his friend's strength with the smoothness of his precision. The wind hit less like a battering ram and began to slide around them, still pushing, but with more pressure deflected.

Protected like they were with their robes snapping out behind them, they clutched at each other and took careful, advancing steps forward, their shared weight and traction keeping them steady and attached to the ground. Caleb bared his teeth behind his mask, moving in time with Green-Hair as they weathered the front.

The force of the storm lessened once again and they shot ahead on numb legs, struggling to take advantage while they could before repeating the process again. Only this time, three steps into their advancement, his friend slipped. Alarm rang through the Force, matched by a silent shout of his panic and Caleb managed to catch his companion before he could completely fall. The shield was still up, they were still protected, but this time Caleb didn't hold his friend's arm. He curled his arm around his friend’s waist and felt the other boy do the same. They were stable again and determination sang through their bond.

Together they forced their way up the incline toward the ridge where the light of the mountain was brightest, and every foot claimed was a triumph. For the first time Caleb felt like he was truly ascending. That he was climbing, higher and higher and making progress, and he knew why. It was because of him. Of Green-Hair, this strange boy with incredible amounts of strength but also a sensitive kindness to him that — after the war — seemed impossible to exist.

The Force shifted and he knew that he couldn’t have climbed the mountain without this boy, just as he knew through their bond that Green-Hair wouldn't have made it without him either. They'd had to come together, work together, share the experience and face the challenges united to have made it at all. And it didn't matter that Caleb couldn't feel his hands and feet anymore and that the bite of the cold tore at the very fiber of his being. It didn't matter that his struggle in the Force to keep their shield perfectly shaped was draining him as quickly as it was draining his friend. It didn't matter that the edges of his vision were starting to feather and blacken.

They were succeeding together. They were almost there.

And suddenly, like the greatest mercy, they were over the ridge.

The blizzard that had threatened to kill them abruptly lifted, the wind shifting from a howl to a whisper so fast Caleb thought he'd gone deaf. Without the wind to terrorize them, the chill in the air wasn't as horrendous and in the weirdest way, he felt warmer. They stumbled, and the sound of the snow crunching under their feet was all he had to prove that he hadn't gone deaf at all.

They'd made it. They'd survived.

With nothing to struggle against they all but toppled down the next slope, only remaining standing because their grip on each other made them a shared, semi-frozen entity with four legs instead of two. The light was ahead of them now, right at the top of the next long but gentle slope. There was something there, they were close enough to see it now. It looked like a building of some kind, and ... there was a person there. The Jedi Knight. He was there. He was waiting.

But the storm had taken so much out of him. Out of them. Their movements were slow, every joint and muscle struggling against the cold that had sunk in deep to make each step little more than a valiant, half-alive shuffle. But they kept going, the struggle and need surging in the Force between them. They moved one foot. Then the other. One foot, and then the other. The pattern made him think the same thing over and over again. Just one more step. Just one more step.

The place, the light. It was right there. It was so close now ...

So ... so close ....

* * *

Together on the final slope of the mountain, they fell forward into the snow, arms wrapped around each other, never letting go.

They did not rise.

* * *

**Jacen**

Awareness fluttered around Jacen like gossamer threads, too soft and difficult to grasp for longer than a moment. His thoughts were fuzzy, the world was unintelligible, but he drifted in that world of in-between with some small flame of consciousness.

He knew, with the faintest of thought, that he was being carried.

Arms supported his legs and his nose was pressed into the neck of someone with a strong back and a steady stride. They carried him carefully, body warmth heady and shared willingly, and Jacen couldn't stop himself from curling his arms tighter around the person's neck. The Force was all around them, between them, and never in his life had Jacen felt as safe as he did now. The blizzard he and his friend had fought was behind them, and while he hoped Eyebrows was fine, enveloped in a sensation he'd never felt so keenly as he did now, it was hard to think of anything else.

With his nose buried at the person's neck, he realized he knew this smell. He'd known it all his life, in the old clothes his mom had given him. In the gentle scents she couldn't ever pass by. This person, they smelled warm like a campfire, and the shampoo his mother preferred he use so much. There was a hint of sweat and oil. The faint waft of old leather. He'd never scented it so strongly before, but it was always there in the clothing and memories his mother only pulled out when she needed something stronger to remember by.

This person, they smelled like his dad.

Jacen's heart pulsed with love, and that same love was returned ten-fold, and he knew beyond a doubt who it was that carried him. And that awareness, that simple, pure, incredible satisfaction swept his focus away and lulled him back to the balmy shores of sleep.

* * *

**Caleb**

Caleb dwelled in the space between consciousness and unconsciousness, unaware of anything except the fact that he existed. He couldn't quite recall what had happened or where he was. He couldn't quite recall anything except being so very tired, and willing to allow the careful balance he currently existed in to topple toward unconsciousness and let it be.

He couldn't quite let it go, not yet anyway. After all, he wasn't alone.

Someone was carrying him.

Caleb's head rested on a robed shoulder where he was carried against a warm chest, making him feel very small and very young, but also protected and safe. His life hadn't been long, but he couldn't remember anyone carrying him like this, carefully and with an unfathomable understanding. He'd never needed to be carried like this. Not by the Temple or the Masters. Not even by Master Billaba. Not by anyone. He'd never _needed_ this.

For whatever reason, he needed it now, and although he knew he would've struggled for independence with anyone else, there was something about the man carrying him that put him completely at ease. That promised he didn't have to worry about anything like that, and that he'd never tell a soul.

This was the way, in his deepest heart of hearts when he looked at other families and wondered what it was like to be held and cared for so deeply, he'd always hoped he'd be held. Like he mattered more than just as a Jedi. That he mattered as a person. An individual.

A beard tickled his face, and his eyes fluttered open long enough to catch a glimpse of the person holding him. It was the Jedi Knight he'd been chasing. The one on the horizon. The one with the ponytail and beard and the scar across his blind eyes.

The Jedi turned his face downward, milky eyes catching his, and there was so much care and serenity there, more than he'd ever seen before. He wanted to ask this man so many things. Caleb sensed this Jedi more than any other could have answered any question he'd ever had. Ever would have. And he'd believe anything he said.

But there was no strength in him. He could do little more than relax closer, listening to a steady heart as he lost the quiet fight he'd had with awareness. And without regret, Caleb let sleep gently claim him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you feel it now? Can you? We're on the cusp of the end, and for those of you who are familiar with my work you should know that it's about time to keep the tissue boxes handy~
> 
> Until next week :]


	8. The Temple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you came with tissues in hand because there are feels ahead. I cried. I loved it. I hope you do too.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Caleb**

It was the Force that summoned him from sleep, but it was the wind as it ran through his hair and caused his Padawan braid to tickle his cheek that brought Caleb the entire way. Annoyed, he brushed it aside and attempted to burrow into whatever he was laying on, trying to stay asleep for just a little bit longer.

But then he smelled grass when he'd expected the coarseness of sand. And the wind, it didn't bite viciously at every bit of flesh he had, as it had more recently, but was balmy and almost warm. Gentle. Peaceful.

That was not the last thing he remembered.

Bolting upright, Caleb was on his feet and searching for Green-Hair, frantic, but his friend was right there, looking up at him as he also awakened. The blizzard was gone. Everything was warm and safe. They were in a lawn of fresh grass which waved lazily in the breeze. Beyond the ledge the rest of the frozen mountain, the entire desert, stretched out for as far as he could see, practically a painting. A gorgeous dream.

He knew it was no dream, however, when he turned and saw the temple.

It was small, all things considered. Not massive and overwhelming and ostentatious, but small and made of wood, humble and welcoming after everything that had happened. From where they were on the grass, he could hear the calming sound of chimes twisting in the breeze.

The Force called to him.

Green-Hair stood, and without thinking Caleb reached for his wrist as if to tell him to look, to see, but he already was. There was a stone path leading up to the temple steps, and at the top of those steps was a doorway. A figure cloaked in white stood there watching them, and Caleb had no idea if it was the same native as the one who'd been there a month ago at the beginning ... but he sensed it was. A glance at his friend showed a similar light of recognition, and he wondered if this person had been there for both of them. It would make sense, given the temple-like nature of this world.

The white-cloaked native lifted his hand, beaconed them inside, and after a shared look, they followed. After all this time, they'd finally made it. He'd thought about this moment often while they'd been traveling. He'd always believed that it would be a good one, exciting. That he or his friend would run to the end and it would be a rush. They'd go home and it would be ....

He didn't know what it would've been because here now they took the steps with both reverence and reluctance because this was _it_. The end of the journey. He could feel it like his own heartbeat. Once they were inside, they would leave. This would all be over. He'd go back to the war. His friend would go back to ... wherever he’d go, and that would be that.

They'd never see each other again.

Caleb wondered if his friend knew it too, but he couldn't bring himself to silently ask. Soon they were on the stone path. Soon they were on the wooden steps, their feet making soft noises as they ascended. Together they stood at the mouth of the small temple and from there they could see inside. It was a hallway that led to more steps and a platform beyond. And at the crest of that platform, the light which had guided them, drawn them, it glowed strongest. It was there. He could hear his kyber crystal coming from there. If he tilted his head just right, he thought he could even hear sounds coming from it. The baritones of clone voices. The gentle lilting voice of his master.

He tried to move but found, right here on the cusp of what he'd worked so hard for, he couldn't take one more step.

Unable to stop himself, he looked at Green-Hair and saw the reluctance in his face too. Could see the way his eyes were drawn to the light ahead, but also how they kept flashing back toward him. His friend knew what it meant if they crossed over inside, and for an insane moment, Caleb wondered if maybe they could turn back. Go on another journey. They'd made it here once; they could do it again. They didn't have to leave yet.

They didn't have to say goodbye.

For a moment their arms twitched back, and Caleb knew if just one of them broke, the other would too. Caleb waited for his friend to make the move because he ... he _couldn't_ be the one to make the choice. But Green-Hair didn't move either, and although they quietly pleaded with their eyes, soon they'd been standing there for what felt like hours just waiting. Hoping.

Eventually his friend gave a sad smile, then surprised him by pulling his wrist from his grasp and taking Caleb’s hand instead. Green-Hair squeezed his hand, then took a step forward, making the choice. And as much as it hurt, Caleb loved him for being so strong.

Together they entered the temple and followed the white-cloaked native who'd been waiting patiently for him. They led them down the brightly lit, airy hallway with the scent of incense lingering in the air, their feet falling on a plush red carpet as rich in color as the cloaks they still wore. Within, there was a stillness, a quiet that hushed everything including the ache of his heart, and each step was easier than the last. Before long, they were climbing to the platform, and there it was. The light waited toward the back, and several feet before it was a pedestal with two depressions in its stone.

The masked, white-cloaked native approached the pedestal and gestured toward the depressions. They were rectangular in shape, suggestive of something that needed to be placed in, and above each was an engraving. His name was etched in clear Basic, and another, Jacen, above the second.

For a moment he didn't notice, but then his eyes widened, and he studied the second name like it was a marvel. His hand whipped up to grab at his friend's arm, shaking him. Soon he was pointing at the second name, then back at the other boy hopefully. Green-Hair grinned and nodded before doing the same with Caleb's own name and Caleb did the same.

Relief and happiness overwhelmed him. His friend, he had a name. It wasn't Green-Hair, or boy, or kid, or anything else he'd used to call him all this time.

It was Jacen.

Caleb was so overwhelmed by the revelation that it took him a long time to notice the white-clad figure had lifted a hand. A recorder was in his palm, and Caleb could only stare. Why would he need another? He already had one.

His friend — Jacen — studied the recorder before he dug into his cloak and pulled out his own. Pointing, he gestured from it to the depression under his name. The figure nodded, withdrawing his hand, and it became very clear what they had to do. All this time Caleb had shoved his words into his recorder to hear himself, to vent his frustrations, to talk to Jacen though they'd never had a real, verbal conversation. Everything was recorded, thoughtlessly given but precious all the same. He hadn't thought he'd lose them or that they'd be taken as price for his exit.

Caleb pulled his recorder out and stared at it. It was so small and innocent looking, he'd never once considered that it was important past helping him speak if only to himself. Now he didn't want to give it up. But he had to, and he saw Jacen's chest heave with a sigh before he reached forward to place his into its spot.

Caleb stopped him.

The other boy looked at him curiously, but then Caleb smiled and activated his final log to talk to his friend one last time.

* * *

**< Final Log - Caleb Dume>**

I know you can't hear me. I know you don't know what I'm saying, but I don't care I'm going to say it anyway, and maybe that makes me a coward because you can't hear me, you can only look at me like that, but I have to say it to you. I hope you can feel it in the Force.

I can't think of anyone else I'd have gone through this with but you. I mean, we didn't really have all that much choice, but I don't care. I'm glad it was you, Jacen. You taught me a lot, you made me laugh, we had so much fun together. I think ... I don't know if I'll ever see you again, and I hope I do. But I get this feeling that I won't.

I want to tell you that you're my best friend. I hope that whatever you do, you'll succeed. I know you'll be amazing because you're the coolest kid I've ever met and I'm pretty sure you're part-bird. You're also the most sensitive and kind person I've ever met, and that's saying something since I'm a Jedi and I grew up in the Jedi Temple.

I hope you'll be happy. I hope you'll be safe, and I want to tell you that I'm going to treasure this time. I don't think I'm ever going to forget you. You or your stupid amount of Force strength.

From the bottom of my heart, I love you.

May the Force be with you, Jacen.

**< End Log>**

* * *

**Jacen**

When Jacen woke up, grass tickled his cheeks.

It was such a strange, foreign sensation that he scratched too hard at his face and the pain which resulted sharpened his mind and brought with it all the desperate memories which had assured him he'd never open his eyes again. But here he was, eyes coming into focus to find that the grass under his face and hands really was grass. Not sand or stone or snow, but _grass_ , green and alive.

Bewildered, he carded his fingers through the strands, breathed in the aromatic scent which wafted from the blades. It was so fresh and clean, soothing and filled with life.

It reminded him of another scent just at the back of his nose, something faint and far like a half-recalled memory. Something important. Jacen’s brow furrowed as he stroked the grass, trying to pin it down and struggling. He almost had it—

Motion beside him broke his concentration and he watched as his companion bolt upright, brow furrowed as he woke up. Like that, atop the grass and amidst a backdrop of sky blue, Eyebrows stood out in the red cloak. He was so vivid like that, it was such a stark contrast to all the sand and the snow, and—

He didn't know if his friend realized it at the same time he did, but their eyes locked and they shared something stark in the Force, the bridge between them slamming with the reality of their situation. They weren't in the snow anymore. They weren't cold. As a matter of fact, wherever they were, it was almost warm, save for the faintest chill of a calm breeze through their hair. There was grass for the first time, the color almost making Jacen's eyes hurt. It was like the blizzard had never happened.

And a glance over his shoulder told him exactly where they were.

Below, the mountain stretched on and on, an insurmountable wave they'd somehow managed to crest, and beyond that like a painting was an endless golden desert straight from a dream. For as far as he could see, there was nothing but the endless horizon. They were so high up, it was incredible. Impossible.

And if they were this high up, that could only mean—

Jacen jerked his head around and his eyes widened when he saw the foreign shape of a wooden temple. It wasn't very big, nor was it the most impressive structure he'd ever seen in his life, but there was something about its kept majesty, it's manicured serenity, that made him feel small and humbled. Beside him, his friend also stared as if lost in the impossible, speechless beyond their Force-given muteness.

Slowly Jacen climbed to his feet and together they faced the temple, still despite all the steps they'd taken just to get this far. Jacen wasn't sure if his friend knew how they'd gotten here when all he remembered was snow and biting cold and the certainty that they would die, but at least together.

But he didn't feel dead. Everything here was flooded with the Force. Everything was utterly alive.

This was the place they'd been traveling to all this time. There was no doubt in his mind, not when the Force was all but singing harmonies as if to prove it. He could feel it. _This was the place._ This was where they were always supposed to be.

His companion was already moving, his hand gripped around his, though Jacen wasn't entirely sure he noticed. His eyes were locked forward, it was as if the rest of the world didn't exist as they moved forward steadily.

Jacen held on, unsure what else he should do though there was still that nagging thought at the back of his mind, something abrasive that wanted to be known. Something he felt he desperately had to remember.

His thoughts were broken by the gentle sound of chimes and he saw at the doorway that a white-cloaked figure watched them both, and he knew beyond a doubt that this was his guide. He had no idea how his guide had gotten here but was also not surprised because he didn't even know how _they'd_ gotten here, not that it mattered. Not now. Eyebrows grabbed at his wrist and with little else to do they went to the temple, and each step forward was one less he was willing to take. They were here now. This was the end.

But as they stood at the threshold, Jacen found he could not move another inch.

They looked at each other and Jacen wondered if it was possible to just ... not go. Not now anyway, even if they would have to go eventually. He couldn't make his mother worry much longer than he already had. But he wasn't ready to give up his best friend, not yet. They could still turn around now, have another adventure. It didn't have to end yet. One of them just needed to pull back and the other would go immediately. It would be that _easy_.

But the longer they stood there, the more he was sure it wasn't going to happen because neither wanted to be the one to make that sort of decision. And like this, all he could think about was the rush Eyebrows had been in to get here, how hard he'd fought to do this as quickly as possible. There had to be a reason for that, a reason he was so determined, and Jacen ... he couldn't be that selfish. He'd never been that selfish.

And so he made the decision. Jacen took his friend's hand, squeezed it, and stepped into the temple.

Jacen wasn't sure if his friend knew how much relief fluttered across his face and he knew he'd made the right choice, even if it hurt. Now they followed their guide through a beautiful and ornate hallway and up a set of steps toward a platform where the light that had been calling them waited. This close he thought he could smell the unmistakable scent of home. Of space and oil and fresh meiloorun juice. He thought he could hear his mother's voice and Chopper's familiar grunts.

There was a pedestal on the platform and the white-cloaked figure stood behind it, pulling out a recorder and gesturing to the pedestal. On it, there were two holes, each the same size and shape, vaguely rectangular. His name was above one of them, Caleb on the other, and Jacen could only stare at his own name reluctantly as his mind pieced together what their guide wanted.

He was startled when Eyebrows suddenly grabbed him, and for half a second he was afraid that something bad had happened. But it wasn't that. Instead he was pointing to Jacen's name, eyes wide with excitement, then pointing at him, back and forth, and suddenly Jacen understood. His name, it was visible, and Eyebrows could see it! Jacen could only grin and nod quickly before doing the same with the other name. Caleb. The boy was quick to nod, to claim the name, and Jacen was floored because he had a name now! His best friend had a name.

It was Caleb.

If it was the only thing he came away from this knowing, he was content. It meant the world to him just to know his name. But the white-cloaked figure was still waiting, and reluctantly he pulled out his recorder and knew what this was all about. He'd wondered why, of all the things his guide could've given him, it had been this. Something for him to pour his heart and soul into in pure seclusion. Now he understood. This was the price to leave. All the words he'd spoken, he had to give them up now. This was the toll. It had always been the toll.

Jacen found he didn't want to give it up.

He had to, however. It was time. They needed ... they needed to leave, and this was the way. Jacen couldn't help but sigh heavily before reaching forward to put his recorder in the hole.

Caleb stopped him.

Bewildered and surprised, he looked at his friend and found he was lifting his recorder to his mouth and was speaking to it, but his eyes held Jacen's. In an instant, he understood and was floored. His friend — Caleb — was making one last log in his recorder and he was speaking to _him_. Directly to him, and although he couldn't hear a word of it, he could feel it in the bond between them. A growing tenderness flecked with amusement and hope. Of dreams and assurances but more than that there was a powerful familial love flowing out of his friend that made Jacen's eyes prickle and burn badly with unshed tears.

When his friend was done, Jacen didn't pause to begin his final log either, eyes locked on his friend’s.

* * *

**< Final Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

There's so much I want to tell you, Caleb. There's just ... so much. We've been through a lot together, you've taught me about the Force and life and just ... I don't even know what to say right now and I always have something to say.

No, I know what I want to say. I don't want this to end. I don't want you to go, even though I know you have to. I've seen it all this time and I know you need to, but I'm also going to miss you. I'm going to miss you more than I've ever missed anyone and I just-I just hope I get to see you again. I hope whatever you're about to do goes well. I hope you stay safe. I hope the Force is with you.

But more than that, I just hope you know how much I love you. I know you can't hear me, but I hope you can feel how much I care, because I do. You've been my best friend here; you _are_ my best friend.

And I hope you'll be happy.

**< End Log>**

* * *

**Caleb**

Although Caleb didn't think his friend had heard exactly what he'd said, the connection between them was awash with tender emotion. Jacen hadn't done a thing during his silent confession except watch and listen as best he could with the Force, and now that Caleb was done, Jacen recorded a message of his own. His lips moved as he spoke to him, his eyes going damp as he spoke with words Caleb couldn't hear, but it didn't matter. He could feel them. The intense sentiment. The care, the amusement, and even the matching familial love that had grown between them in such a short time.

Caleb knew Jedi weren't supposed to feel like this, get connected like this, but he _had_ and he _was_ and maybe it was blasphemous, but he didn't care. Jacen meant so much to him. And he couldn't help but be grateful to the Force for giving him something like this.

Tears rolled down Jacen's cheeks by the time he finished, and Caleb didn't hesitate to pull the other boy into a tight hug, giving everything he could. His friend cried into his shoulder, and Caleb held him through it, never letting go. Not willing to let go so long as his friend needed him this one last time.

But soon the quiet sobs cleared. Caleb could feel Jacen swallow hard against his shoulder and after a long, fortifying breath, his green-haired friend pulled away. His eyes were red-rimmed and his face splotchy, but it didn't matter.

After all, this was goodbye.

With one last squeeze of his hand around Jacen's, he took his recorder and placed it in the depression meant for it. Immediately the light pulsed and called to him. The white-cloaked native nodded and motioned him forward. Soon Jacen had also placed his recorder in the depression meant for him, and while he didn't see the light do anything different, he knew it must have because the native motioned the other boy forward too.

Together they moved toward the light. It began to bleach the world, throwing it out of sight to replace it with the scents of the battlefield and the pull of war. The place where Caleb belonged.

Caleb looked at his friend — at Jacen — one last time and smiled. They'd come all this way together, beaten a desert, an underground cave, a mountain and blizzard, all to arrive here. He didn't know anything else about Jacen besides what they'd been able to learn this silent month, but that was okay. He knew everything he'd ever needed to know about this quiet, sensitive, steady boy who soared through the sky like it was the place he was made for. He knew that when push came to shove, Jacen shoved, and when Caleb had needed him, Jacen had been there. They’d been there for each other

Somehow, impossibly, Jacen had become his best friend. And that strange tenderness he had for his friend — this impossible, devastating care he felt — it was more than anything he'd ever felt for anyone.

And he knew, once he left, he'd miss Jacen more than he could possibly ever say.

But the war was still going on, and Master Billaba and the clones were waiting for him. He had to go. He couldn't stay, and he sensed that they might never meet again.

So before he took that final step through the light, Caleb turned and threw his arms around Jacen and held him tighter than he'd ever held anyone in his life. In the Force, he let his emotions flow and without words, he told Jacen everything and hoped the other boy understood. Jacen, for his part, clung to him just as tightly, surprising him by burying his head into Caleb's shoulder and all but crushing the life out of him.

Caleb smiled and relished this final moment. Willed it to last for as long as it was able. As long as they could let it.

And then, it was over.

Tears edged Jacen's eyes again and Caleb could only smile kindly as he pulled away. The war was calling. He was needed, and they'd had a month together already.

The best he could hope for was that one day, sometime in the future, they would meet again despite what he felt.

He hoped, more than anything, that they would meet again.

_Goodbye, Jacen_ , he mouthed, a tender look in his eyes and in the Force before he gave the other boy his best grin. Then Caleb turned away, took a breath, and before he could stop himself, moved into the light.

* * *

**Jacen**

The last of his words came out stuttered and broken, and Jacen couldn't stop himself when the tears started falling down his cheeks. So many emotions welled up in him as he saw the tender care he felt reflected in his friend's eyes and suddenly Caleb was pulling him into one of the tightest hugs he'd ever had in his life and Jacen was sobbing into his shoulder because this was _it_. This was goodbye. Sometimes it felt like his life was only ever filled with losses and goodbyes, so he knew when he had something or someone important, he had to value it. Make the most of it.

And he had. His time with Caleb had meant so much to him. This hug meant the world to him and he cherished it for as long as he had it.

But soon his emotions calmed, and he could do little more than swallow and sigh because he could feel it in the Force. It was time to let Caleb go, and knowing that, he gently pulled away. Caleb's kind eyes held his, knowing it was time too, and he squeezed Jacen's hand before placing his recorder into the slot. The other boy looked up at the light surprised, and it was only after Jacen had done the same and the light in the room had heightened, summoning him with promises of home, that he understood Caleb had been called too.

They moved around the pedestal together, the white-cloaked figure watching, and finally, Caleb let him go, but only to give him one final, soul-crushing hug. Suddenly Jacen was flooded with so many tender feelings in the Force that his throat squeezed, and his eyes prickled as he struggled to remain strong. But before he could return his feelings, Caleb let him go, this time for good.

This was it now, and Jacen watched as Caleb grinned, a crooked grin that was at once overwhelming and familiar, and before Jacen could do anything, his friend stepped through the light.

Caleb was gone.

Numb, Jacen stared at the space where the other boy — _Caleb_ — had just been and suddenly so many things fell into place. The familiarity, the trust and easy friendship, the strange love and affection he'd held for his impossible friend that seemed to all but spring to life on its own. The teal eyes and distinctive eyebrows. _All of it_.

Caleb. His name had been Caleb. It had to have been—!

Soft footsteps behind him all but startled Jacen’s thoughts and he twisted around to see his white-cloaked guide moving closer. But this time they tugged the hood off their head and then the mask as well.

Jacen had only seen eyes so blue in pictures and holos. He'd never once thought he'd see them himself, least of all like this.

Tears flooded his eyes, running in rivers down his cheeks as he abruptly sobbed and cried but he couldn't hear himself, couldn't make the white-cloaked man hear him now because the recorder was gone, and he was voiceless — truly voiceless. All he could do was stand helplessly and stare as the man moved closer.

A kind smile rested on his lips and unfathomable tenderness and love shown in his eyes. A weathered hand reached out to rest on his head, slipping gentle fingers through the long green locks at the top before drawing him closer, and Jacen went without prompting. He threw his arms around him as tight as he could.

Jacen wondered how he could have gone this entire way and not realized that the whole time, _the whole time_ , it had been his father all along.

Strong arms held him as he sobbed and sobbed soundlessly, trying to convey absolutely everything he'd ever thought and felt about this — any of this — but his words were gone. He had nothing left.

Warmth pulsed at him, resonating from his dad in the Force, and Jacen startled because he realized that he _did_ have a way to communicate. He'd been doing it all along since the first day he'd gotten here.

So he used the Force.

Sharing his feelings, he thought about how he'd grown up missing his father, wishing he'd known him, hoping he'd love him as much as Jacen loved him. He thought of all the sad days when he'd felt so alone and wished he'd had his dad to talk to, to understand. He thought of all the accomplishments Jacen wished he could have shared with him. The first time he'd flown on his own. The time he'd been able to save his mother. How he'd accidentally wrecked his dad's speeder bike, but also rebuilt it good as new.

But more than that, what he shared was his love, every single bit of it. Everything he had to give for this man he'd never dreamed he'd have in his life. For the father he never believed he'd ever meet, not ever.

And it was returned in spades, easily and freely given as if his dad was trying to make up for everything he'd already missed. And everything he would continue to miss in the future.

Jacen's lips made the shapes over and over, trying to break the silence just once, just _this once_ because he needed his dad to hear them, he _needed it_ , and his failure was making him so angry. He had to tell his dad. Things couldn't end like this without him being sure he knew beyond a doubt. His dad _had_ to know how much he loved him.

Gently his dad pulled away, and a bolt of terror tore through Jacen because he was _not ready_ to let him go. He didn't think he'd ever be ready, but it was okay because his dad didn't pull far. Like this they could see each other, their eyes holding and nothing between them, and there was a smile there on his lips. Identical to so many Caleb had given him all this time.

Jacen soundlessly told him he loved him. He searched his dad’s eyes for understanding, desperate to know.

Kanan Jarrus placed a hand over Jacen's heart, just like he had at the beginning of the journey. His eyes softened and he nodded. His father's eyes glinted with tears, but like everything else they were shameless and freely given, and Jacen knew that his message was clear. His dad knew. He'd known all along. He'd _always_ known.

They stared at each other for a long time, sharing emotions in the Force as this place had taught him to do so very well by now, and soon his spirit began to quiet and stabilize under his father's calm and sure presence. There was still so much Jacen wanted to tell him, so much he wanted to say about his life, his dreams, his mother and their family. There was _so much_ , and his father seemed to sense that because the corners of his eyes tightened with sadness, even if his gentle smile never went away.

A warm hand slid up to cup the back of his head, a thumb stroking the short strands of his undercut before he sighed and shook his head, and Jacen's heart ached because there was a certainty in the Force that told him they were out of time. It was time now, he had to go.

And he didn't want to.

Jacen shook his head, clinging to the firm lines of his father's arms, and his dad let him, that loving, tender smile never failing. His dad pressed his brow against Jacen's and closed his eyes, seeming to drink him in, and all the while the warm hand on Jacen's chest seemed to tell him so much he couldn't possibly understand because there wasn't enough time and Jacen was only fourteen. He wasn't _done_ yet, and he wasn't ready to give this up.

Kanan's free hand caught one of Jacen's, and Jacen was surprised to feel something pressed into his palm, something small and jagged. He wanted to see what it was, but his father's hand kept it wrapped securely around it, growing space between them until all that remained was the hand over his heart, and even that too had to leave.

Jacen's tears were falling again now. His heart begged to stay.

His father reminded him that there was an entire world waiting for him. That his mother was waiting for him. That, as much as he didn't want this either, their time was up. They'd been given a gift, but it was time.

Jacen knew his dad was right, and he bullied his feet to bring him toward the doorway of light. This would take him away. This would bring him ... well, he didn't know where. But it would take him back to a star-filled sky, his mother, and a world where his father didn't exist.

A warm hand lingered on his shoulder and the Force pulsed one last time, and this time he swore he heard words in both his heart and his mind.

_I am always with you, Jacen._ The hand on his shoulder gave a gentle push. _Go._

And Jacen, teary-eyed and full of bittersweet love, went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go, you all. What a ride. I can't wait to share the end with you.
> 
> Oh, and don't forget the tissues again.
> 
> Till next time!


	9. After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, finally at the end. I'm sorry for the slightly late update, I didn't want the end of this story to get lost amid everything that was May the Fourth and thought it might be better to wait. But here it is! I'm so glad you've made it this far in the story, and I hope you enjoy the conclusion :]

**Jacen**

Tears ran from Jacen's eyes as he sobbed hard into his knees where the light left him curled in the pilot's seat of the _Phantom II_. His face was tight and hot, his hands were clenched and he wailed harder than he ever had in his life.

It was over. The journey was over. And he'd _been there_ , he'd been there the _whole time_ , and—

"Jacen?" His mother's sharp voice followed the sound of the _Phantom II's_ airlock opening, and upon seeing him there, the panic that was already in her eyes replaced with a flood of thick relief. "Jacen!"

Her arms curled around him, pulling him into the tightest hug of his life and he clung to her and continued to sob through all of the emotions that flooded him like an unstoppable torrent. He could hear his mother ask questions, wanting to know what had happened, where he’d been, why he was like this, but all he could do was weather the flood because it all made _sense_ now, all of it. His dad had been there. he'd been there he'd been there _he'd been there_ , and now all Jacen wanted was to go back. Even just for one more day, he wanted to go back, voiceless and all.

"Jacen, sweetheart," his mother pleaded, pulling away just enough to stroke his cheek. "Tell me, baby. What happened?"

"I ... I think I was somewhere in the Force," he pushed out, and now that he could speak to someone – _really_ speak to them – everything came out in a torrent of confession. "I don't know where I was or how I got there, but when I woke up there was this energy everywhere, in this desert with a sky that had no stars. Mom, I was there for a month. I don't know how I got there or what happened—"

"Baby, you've been gone for three days," she said tightly, her features shifting when he'd said the Force. "We lost contact with your ship in the ion storm. We couldn't find you. I was afraid—" His mother's voice wavered and her eyes edge with tears. "But you're here now, and you're safe."

"Mom." Jacen’s fist squeezed tightly and something small and jagged pressed into his palm but he didn't look at it, couldn't think about it. Not yet. "While I was there, I saw things. People. I don't know how it's possible, but I saw him. I saw _Dad_. He was there, I promise I'm not lying, he was there. I _swear._ "

"Oh, baby," his mother sighed before pulling him close again, the circle of her arms the most secure place he'd ever known.

"Do you believe me?" he begged, unable to stop himself, the start to a tremor building in his chest. "Mom, I promise I'm not lying."

"I know you're not lying," she said, the weight of her lekku like twin warmths against his arms. "Tell me everything."

So he did. Jacen told her about the desert. About being unable to speak. About the long silences during the day and the quieter nights after he'd made his recordings and went to sleep under a starless sky. He talked about following the man on the horizon and how he’d been his guide in white. He told her about the Force, and how for the first time in his life, he'd felt it.

And he told her about Caleb.

Soon after he'd started his story, she'd settled into the co-pilot's seat to give him space and now, at the sound of Caleb's name she blanched.

"Your father's name — his real name — was Caleb."

"I _know_ ," he said, catching his breath. "But I didn't know until the last few minutes we were there." His eyes watered as he thought of the boy he'd spent a month with. How every single day he'd looked at his face and thought there was something so kriffing familiar, he just couldn’t figure it out.

And now it all made sense.

His mother swallowed tightly, uncharacteristically unsure of what to say. "Do you ... do you think it was ... him? Your father, I mean, when he was younger?"

"I know it was, Mom," Jacen said, his voice cracking. "I don't know how but ... it was him. If there was a picture of him from back then, he'd look exactly the same as the boy I was with, I’m sure. It was _him_."

"Just ... just give me a second to process this, okay?" His mother leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees so she could support her brow of her head with her fingers. "A lot has just happened for the both of us and I’m just so relieved you’re alive, and—and you're sure? You said you felt the Force. Do you feel it now? Do I need to get in touch with Master Skywalker?" His mother sighed heavily. "I wish your father was here. Or Ezra. They would know what to do."

With this new-found sense he'd come into during the last month, one that had stayed with him like an awareness of something that he realized had always been there, Jacen found he could feel the tight worry building in her chest. The latent ache of missing people who'd mattered deeply to her, and how she truly felt about the Force. She didn't hate it, but there was also a deep vein of quiet bitterness associated with it in her heart. She was worried it would take him away too. Put him, her greatest treasure, in danger like it had his father and Ezra.

So, for the sake of his mother, he lied.

"I don't feel anything, not really," he said trying to soothe her. "Maybe just a little, but not like Master Skywalker or Ben Solo. It's not like that. You don't need to contact him."

"Are you sure?" she asked, suddenly reaching across the gap between them to take his hand. "Jacen, I don't know a lot about the Force, but I know your father took it very seriously. If you have these abilities now, as your mother, I have to take them seriously too."

And this, Jacen knew, was why he loved her more than anyone. His mom was the strongest person he'd ever met, always able to do the hard thing and make the hard decision, even if it hurt her.

But he was happy to find that she didn’t have to make the hard decision. He knew what he wanted for himself. He'd felt it in that final moment with his father.

Jacen took her hand and squeezed it, and while he didn’t know if he could still use the Force to lift and push things, it didn’t matter. If this was the extent he had the Force, to feel and understand his mother as well as he did in this moment, then he would be fine with that. He might never be a Jedi like his dad or Ezra or Ben and the Skywalkers, but that was okay. Above all of that, he was his mom's son. A growing pilot trained by the best in the Galaxy. If there was no more Force after this, that was fine. He had everything he needed. He saw that now.

"I'm sure, Mom. You don't need to worry. You don't need to contact Master Skywalker. It doesn’t," he licked his lips, trying to find the right words. "It doesn’t feel right."

A tight sound slipped from her throat, and he realized she didn't believe him about not having the Force. But she also understood what he was really saying. She squeezed his hand tightly.

"Jacen, if you ever change your mind, you have to tell me. Even if it's not what I want."

"I promise I'll tell you," he said, meaning it. "But I'm not lying. It doesn't feel right. If I ever did need training — _if_ — I think I'd rather wait until Ezra comes home and learn from him."

He hadn’t meant to make his mom cry, but more crystal tears slipped out of her eyes and this time it was his turn to hold her because she felt so _much,_ and he could feel it so clearly. Jacen was so connected now, and he knew he wouldn't be if it hadn't been for his strange Force journey. If it hadn't been for Caleb.

He and his mother sat together, filled with emotions that ranged from bittersweet and unbridled happiness to the depths of mourning. But eventually the tears slowed and they both became calmer and more rational like they always were. Nothing could keep a Syndulla down long.

They sat in silence for a long while, just looking at each other, him and his mom. He was glad to do it after a month away. He'd missed her so much.

"It's funny," she suddenly said as she stroked his hair. "It was your father's idea to name you Jacen."

Jacen's brows furrowed. "But he didn't know about me—"

"That doesn't mean we didn't sometimes lay around and wonder about the future. Kids. Play around with ideas, even if we weren't sure we'd ever have children," his mom said simply. "We didn't mean it at the time, or at least I hadn't so much. But every time we played with ideas, we'd cycle through girls names endlessly. But boys names?" She chuckled softly. "Jacen. It was always Jacen. He never, ever changed his mind on that. Not once."

The realization made his chest ache because the adventure they'd shared had stuck with his father all his life. He wanted to know if his dad had figured it out somehow, and knew he'd never know. It made him wonder where certain things began, with his father or with him, because they'd both taught each other so many things. So much of what Jacen had taught Caleb had been things he'd learned from stories and holos of his father, but now he wondered where his father had learned those things in the first place? It was like one giant feedback loop, a paradox with no beginning or end.

It was then that his stomach let out a loud, persistent growl, and they stared at each other before his mother burst out into laughter.

"How about I whip something up?" she said, light, love, and tenderness shining in her eyes. "How does dinner sound? I’m sure we could both use the food after … everything."

"After eating weird desert fruits for a month? Dinner sounds like the best thing I've ever heard," he responded, and this was not a lie in the least.

As she rose to her feet she dropped a kiss on the crown of his head, lingering there. "Please don't get swept off to the Force like that again," she said before straightening out and giving him a small smile. "At least, not before you let me know?"

"I'm not sure it works that way," Jacen said before squeezing her hand. "But I'll try not to."

"I suppose that's all I can ask." She gave a small chuckle, and the vein of bitterness in her heart lightened ever so slightly. "And here I thought the Force was finally out of our lives. Next thing I know you'll be swinging around a lightsaber."

Jacen smiled and tried not to let it pull too tightly as she went through the door, because alone now, he uncurled his palm and gazed at the small blue kyber crystal glowing there. He didn't know what he'd do with it, if he'd do anything with it. It wasn't as if he could make a lightsaber. He didn't know how, and he didn't think he'd get very far without the help of someone who actually knew what they were doing.

But as it sat there in his palm, he could hear it sing gently. And if he listened just right, he thought he could hear the desert wind. There was something there now – in the crystal or him, he wasn't quite sure – but he could feel it, the Force. That thing he'd been worried he'd never share with his father, he did now. He always had. The desert, Caleb, the journey, all of it had shown him that.

And he'd been there. His father, Kanan Jarrus, the man he looked up to. He'd _been_ there. He'd been there the entire time, guiding him. Protecting him. Taking care of him. Making him smile as they glided atop the sand for hours and hours and fought with him with their paths had split. His father had been there all along. His best friend.

And he knew his father wouldn't have given him this crystal for nothing. For whatever that reason was, whatever the reason for his clear connection to the Force now, he wouldn't give it up.

But what he _would_ do with it was a question for another day. Right now, he was hungry, and his mother was making dinner, and _everything_ she made was amazing.

Enlivened, Jacen carefully tucked the crystal into the concealed breast pocket over his heart where it seemed to sing a little louder for him, and he finally felt at home.

* * *

**Caleb**

Caleb opened his eyes and for the first time in what felt like a month, the air wasn’t dry and biting. Instead, it was humid and dark. There was a tang in the air that bothered his nostrils after so long in the arid, scent-less desert with only heat and frost to smell. Even the lingering scent of incense was a faded memory, little more than a dream.

His hand was clenched around the familiar shape of his lightsaber and everything hurt. Idly Caleb reached out with the Force, thoughtlessly trying to nudge Jacen and find out what the hell had happened.

He got a nudge back, but it wasn't at all what he was expecting.

"Caleb?" a soft, concerned voice asked as his eyes fluttered and opened. "Caleb, can you hear me?"

"Master?" he moaned, seeing Master Billaba's face over him for the first time in so long that he was more than a little confused. "What are you—"

Startled, awareness flooded him and he sat upright so quickly his master had to lean back to avoid him. His hand was around his throat and the world around him wasn't the desert he was familiar with because this was their base camp on Mygeeto. He was back! Everything was finally the way it was supposed to be, the Force a gentle river flowing around him instead of inundating him like it had for weeks. He glanced down at himself, sure he was still in the familiar red of his traveler's cloak, but no. These were his Jedi robes. Everything was exactly as it was supposed to be. Normal. Completely normal.

Too normal.

"Padawan?"

"Master," he said, unsure how to start. Unsure if what he remembered had been real or if ... well, he didn't know. "What-what happened? How long have I been gone?"

Master Billaba’s dark eyes studied him, her lips pressed into a concerned frown.

"What do you last remember?"

"I ..."

His words trailed off, and he wasn't sure where to begin. His last memory in the strange temple with Jacen? Before that when he'd woken up in the desert world filled with the Force? Before?

"We got separated," he finally said. "The droids split us up and I was trying to get back to you, but I fell."

"You fell," she said, and for a moment he hoped that she'd fill in the next part because what happened next couldn't have been real. He was here after all, not there. His skin wasn't tanned by a month in the sun, his lightsaber and clothing were exactly as they'd been. He was on Mygeeto!

But she didn't continue, and so he told the truth.

"I fell ... and I woke up in a desert. I couldn't find you, I couldn't talk. There was this kid, and," he licked his lips, listening to himself, communicating properly for the first time and realizing just how insane he sounded. "Master, it's been a month."

Her brow furrowed. "Padawan, it's only been a few hours since we were separated. Grey found you hidden in a cave, unconscious. We've been trying to rouse you ever since."

He'd been afraid of that, and he glanced down to avoid his master's eyes. So it had all been a dream. Some crazy, crazy dream. And of course it had been. He didn't exactly have any proof that it had been real. Just memories.

But they were so vivid. Could he have developed such strong emotions for a dream figure? Even now, he couldn't help but care about Jacen, the green-haired near-human. They'd gone through so much together, spent a month in a desert depending on each other. He _cared_.

How could a dream make his heart squeeze like this?

"I guess it was just a dream. It just felt so real, Master. I couldn't wake up from it no matter what I did."

She hummed softly. "Tell me about your dream."

Now that the reality of the situation was making itself pretty evident, the last thing he wanted to do was talk about it. But that was a lie. He _wanted_ to talk about it because deep, deep down he couldn't convince himself that it was a dream at all. And if that was the case, he didn't know what it was.

And the only one who might have an answer was her.

"I woke up in a desert wearing all red, and there was this mountain in the distance. The Force, it was so strong there, so strong everywhere, but at the top it was strongest, and I knew I needed to go there. And that's what I did for the last month-last dream month, I mean. I journeyed to the top of the mountain." More softly, he added. "I had a companion the entire way, a boy about my age. We became friends even though we couldn't say a word to each other the entire time. I don't know, Master. This sounds so crazy. Maybe I just made it all up?"

He waited for her to agree. To put some sort of interpretive spin on it at the very least, but he found her looking oddly at him.

"You said a desert," Master Billaba suddenly said. "A desert strong in the Force, with a mountain you traveled to, and that you couldn't speak. Tell me, Caleb. Was there a temple at the top of the mountain? And did you have to give something up to leave?"

Caleb's back shot straight, eyes wide.

"Yes! Yes, there was, and I did! So you know what that place is? Where I've been?"

She sighed, clearly picking her words carefully.

"I believe I do, though I'd never thought I'd hear of it again, least of all from my own Padawan," his master admitted before she gave him a small, tired smile. "It is something Master Qui-Gon Jinn once told me about. A journey he unexpectedly undertook through a vast desert toward a mountain top and a temple, dressed in red and unable to speak. A long journey which seemed to occur in the span of a day."

It was difficult for Caleb not to gape. He'd come to the Temple after the death of Master Qui-Gon Jinn, but the stories that were told of him were both incredible and gasp-worthy. Maverick. Everyone called him a maverick, for good or bad, but it was also well known that he'd been extremely spiritual. He knew his master had known him, but this connection was almost shocking, given that he'd had the same experience.

"Did he meet anyone?" Caleb asked, the questions exploding out of him like an open dam. "Did he fall into a big hole like we did? What about a recorder? Did he have a recorder? And that man—"

"Caleb!" Master Billaba said, interrupting the flow of questions though it was clear she was relieved to hear them. He must have really worried her when he hadn't woken up when they'd found him. "I don't know, it was merely a story in passing. He did not give such details."

Disappointment nagged at him, but he let it go. "I'm sorry, Master. It's just that I've had so many questions, and now I have so many more. I don't know what happened or where I was, but to find out that it was real..." To his embarrassment, his eyes pricked and he thought of Jacen, his unlikely friend and how connected he'd felt to the other boy. How important he'd become to him in such a short time, and how he would not have made it if it had not been for him. Caleb blinked back the tears and took a breath to control the abrupt flood of emotions he could hardly understand. "I'm just so happy."

His master watched him reign in his emotions, then surprised him by pulling him gently into her arms, embracing him with care. It was so unexpected, so unlike what a Jedi was supposed to do or how they were supposed to behave that it caused his emotions to well up again. A few tears betrayed him and were absorbed into the tunic of his master's clothes, but if she noticed, she said nothing.

"The Force took you on a journey only few experience," she said, pulling away after a moment. "And I cannot say why it was or what it was for, nor can I even begin to guess how you were there and here at the same time, wherever there was. But Padawan. It was real, and if what Master Jinn told me was true, there are lessons you learned there. People who are important, now and perhaps in the future." She squeezed his shoulder. "Don't forget them."

He didn't think he could ever forget Jacen, even if already he was having trouble remembering the finer details of his face. But he remembered the green. He remembered the kind eyes and expressive face, and those eyebrows! No matter what, he would not forget Jacen.

Caleb only wished he had been able to meet the Jedi who'd saved him too.

"Master," he said, wiping his eyes and feeling better than he had in a long time. "Do you know of any blind Jedi? Tall, hair pulled back in a ponytail. Scar over their eyes?"

Master Billaba's brows rose. "No. I know of no Jedi matching that description. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know," he sighed, running a hand through the short strands of his hair. "There was a Jedi Knight there. He saved me, there at the end. I just wanted to know who it was."

"The Force works in mysterious ways, Padawan," she said. "Perhaps, one day, you will meet them and find out for yourself. I know I would like to, if only to thank them for keeping my young Padawan safe."

They smiled at each other, and suddenly everything felt normal again, back to the way it was. This journey, whatever it was, was over and he was here now, back where he belonged next to his master and on the battlefield protecting the Republic.

And Caleb hoped, wherever Jacen was, that he was happy where he belonged too.

* * *

**< First Vocal Log - Jacen Syndulla>**

I was laying in my bunk for an hour after I'd gone to bed, and the whole time I felt off. Then it hit me. I hadn't made a log entry. I mean, yeah, I don't have to do it now. I don't even have to do it anymore. But when I laid down I just ... missed it. I remember I didn't think I'd even like it in the beginning, and here I am now, after it's all over, still talking into a recorder. I guess I just like it now. It's nice to unwind, and I think I'm going to keep doing it every day, but ... I guess I'm also doing it again because I can't help but hope that one day I'll find my way back to that desert and this will be my toll, just like my last one was.

And if it is, and you're there to take my words and listen to them, Dad, I want this log to be the first thing you hear, and I want this to be the first thing I say to you. I know you've felt it from me, and that you, you know, _know_. But I've got to say it all the same.

I love you, Dad. And wherever you are, whenever you are, I can't wait to see you again one day.

**< End Log>**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! That's the journey. I hope you enjoyed it and that any tears shed were worth it. Thanks for reading :] Until next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Catch up with me on [my writing tumblr](https://oka-writes.tumblr.com/) or [my Star Wars tumblr](https://okadiah.tumblr.com/) to see what else I'm up to :]


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